My story is simple my boyfriend and I have been together for awhile the beginning was really unstable and still is. He drank a lot and mentally put me through hell he may still drink I'm not sure he has a criminal record because of his drinking and driving . Now the whole time I've been trying to help him because I care about him and I myself dont drink and dont want to be tempted. I know that he resents me because of it and this is probably the catalyst to our fights. I dont want to see him get hurt or worse but Im learning that I cant live his life either. All of the concentration I have put towards keeping us together has caused my life to slip away. Im rarely ever happy, I lost a alot of weight, and my career has suffered. The whole time he is happy and making a career for himself. Sometimes I wish I could be selfish like him and not care about others that way but that is not the way I was raised. I wanna concentrate on myself but I feel so lost and hopeless. I know that he isnt going to help me get back on my feet and I have to do it by myself. It is just a lot to take in and I feel that Im in such a weak state like Im not myself that I am losing myself completly. This is going to be such a hard process.
Written on August 9th, 2007