I Want To Speak From The Heart.
When you speak from the heart you open yourself up to such pain. Yet, if you try to avoid the pain what does your life/you become but a shell. Don't intentionally want to hurt another person just as I don't want them hurting me. But can't help but daydreaming at what has been lost along the way--experiences, friendships, joy, love, etc. Recently involved with another woman that I could have spent the rest of my life with. Was in a loveless/sexless marraige. When I saw what my leaving would do to my children and wife I found myself lacking the courage to deliberately hurt them, yet, I knew that in so doing my "true love" would be disappointed in me and lost to me. Can't help but ask myself why does "man have to fall in love?" Yet from this I know has come better communication with my wife and awakend both our sex drives. But still I know I will love this other woman always and forever. Sometimes just talking about her helps the pain.