Why Did You Do That?

H ow many times did your parents ask you this question or you ask it of your own children?  Then either giving or receiving the answer "I don't know".

Which many times was and is a truthful answer.  Even as an adult I have ask myself this question of some action I have taken only to find the answer to be I don't know.  To which, I realize I need to really dig deep to discover an answer other than this.

The reason for having to dig for an answer is becasue many times being human means denying or hiding our real emotions.  Children do not have the maturity to get past this and when they say I don't know that is what they think.  To tell a child why he did something and him not know why is very difficult and needs to be approached carefully. I always tried to help my children discover for themselves why instead of telling them what I think.

So,  when someone has done something to me or towards me I separate the action from the person.  If the action is uncharacteristic I know there is something else going on.  If I don't know the person then I try to look at it in a way that still separates the person from the behavior.

We all at times do things that are not what we believe or pratice in our daily lives.  If we know this about ourselves and don't want others to hold it against us; then we need to do the same for other people.

Life is to short to hold grudges and anger toward others.  I do my best to let these types of things go as soon as possible.  In doing so I can find peace within myself again and continue to move forward in my life.

Sometimes I do not like doing it and sometimes it is very hard to do.  But, I know it is better for me to do so.