...serves Me Right!

.....after a whirlwind romance (both words very loosely in this context!) this fledgling relationship with my friend of 20yrs shuddered to halt last weekend. I don't know who ended it, he said "lets cool it"  now we're apart (i'm guessing the wine may have helped with the amnesia re:specific details!)

After 7 days of soul-searching and wine-assisted musings, i had an epiphany (ouch!) and all i can think of is that i made a v.funny joke that he didn't find funny!!!???


I was on the fone to my 'sista' , handing out relationship advice (yes-i see the irony) and made a random comment that may have been slighty misconstrued as a stalemate with my man.

My pearls of wisdom stem from the fact i have had five major relationships in my life and although i have been "engaged numerous times" i have never felt/needed/wanted the commitment of marriage!!! However, i'm cool with others peoples life-choices, (my best mate been hitched 35yrs, and still crazy in love!!!!) 

My sista jus had her 3rd kid by 3rd b/f and she only 21! Not the basis of a lasting declaration of their love, as his missus doesn't know! 

So out of my mouth burst the immortal words " Don't get married! If it don't get the '5day rule',  its too late....i'm never getting married!"

Sadly for me, i contemplated my "5day rule" for a few minutes.....

Many years ago, my best friend applied for a special marriage licence which effectively allowed her to marry a man who she had known just five days!(this is a long and complex tale that tragically does NOT have happy ending) at the time i thought it was quite clever because i tend to over-analyse relationships-it seemed a perfect way to take such a big step, without stressing out too much! (yes-i know WHY i'm single lol)

Anyway, while my mind was drifting with the hearts and flowers, i failed to realise that my boyfriend of two months was oddly quiet. As a three-times divorcee, i had wrongly assumed that marriage wouldn't be on the agenda.....oops!

"Dear John" txt buzzed through next morning, and although there have been several confusing txts from him since either giving me hope or twisting the knife-metaphorically,  the crux of the matter is I DIDN'T WANT IT TO END, BUT I  KNOW ITS OVER, WE CAN'T GO BACK!!!

This is the ONLY sane reason i have found for our separation,  some of the insane ones were hysterical though!


So the moral of this sad tale is that..... you should never assume something is out of the question, when you don't know the answer.....wow! i'm getting really good at this advice-giving, pity i'm flunking the advice-taking so badly lol

Your comments would be welcome, but please be gentle....my ego running on empty lol

cherubicmom6 cherubicmom6
36-40, F
1 Response Mar 8, 2009

I am so sorry about your situation. Relationships are hard. I've been there a few times. I wish you all the best in the future.