Keeping It In

I tend to keep my feelings tucked away. Trying so hard not to release them to friends, family. In the past I have expressed my emotions, the way I feel, and some of the problems I am trying to go through. In the past people's reactions to me expressing these things...hasn't exactly been positive. I feel that people seem to try and help you solve your issues not exactly by giving advice but making you feel inconsiderate or a bad person or making them feel like you dislike them. All I know is I never intended to offend or insult anyone. I was just asking for some help.

I've lost what i've wanted to express now. I can't really remember my past and I don't really know what I want to be in the future. I have a few goals but I feel there is some loose end I need to tie before I continue. I am right now stuck. I don't know how to move forward. Time is rushing ahead and I am struggling to keep up with it.

I've always kept my feelings in was because I felt I was being a bad person. I always thought sharing just puts burden onto others and makes them feel worse and brings them down. Or people don't want to hear about the things you have to express and tell you that straight up.I also was scared if my problem wasn't really a problem at all and the person I asked for some help with the issue went through something worse and that my problem was nothing and I would feel bad making it seem like by bringing it up to someone makes me feel bad because I just shared something that was pretty miniscule in comparison to their problem or they would mention kids dying in africa or something like that and my issue didn't matter as much as I thought. I always feel that when I talk to people about these issues that I have to compensate in some way, like asking them to express their problems and letting me help them in return. But usually they say they don't need any help with anything.  So after that I don't really know how to I even need to compensate in the first place?

The Feelings I have are tucked away now. I don't really remember what they were. Its like I have forgotten them. I feel empty now and I don't really know how to do. Should I leave them tucked away and move on? or is it bad of me to try searching for these lost feelings and then try to express them with others or solve them on my own? 

Right now I just don't feel anything I am stuck and I just need to feel normal again. Thanks
Canthuss Canthuss
18-21, M
Dec 11, 2012