It Annoys My Therapist!
Yep, my therapist had me do an exercise last week. She wanted me to list the things I felt, when thinking about making a phone call. As I have an anxiety disorder, making phone calls is difficult for me. So, I was asking her for help in this area... as I really want to call my boyfriend, Momo, and say "HI!!!!!!!" XD
So, it took me less than 2 minutes to get my thoughts on paper (it would have been faster, but I had misplaced my pen and had to find it. =p). It was a very easy assignment and I bought it in for her, this week.
She was shocked and disappointed, at the same time! She explained that most people don't have concrete answers to their emotions. That takes weeks of therapy to discover it, the most they put down is, "I'm afraid, I feel angry, or I panicked." But with me, I had put down: I feel afraid, when think about using the phone. And here are the reasons why..." And I listed some pretty good and concrete reasons. XD
I think I did my homework wrong, because she was disappointed. Apparently, I wasn't suppose to pick up on or be conscience on why I feel the way I do. That it was suppose to be bought out in therapy, with her skills and knowledge. But, I'm sorry! I've always know the reasons for why I feel the way I do.
As she explained, when people have emotions it usually caused by something called "automatic thoughts"... which happens so fast that a person isn't aware of it, and they are at a loss for why they feel the way they do. And this is the job of the therapist to dig it out onto the surface. But, I can hear my automatic thoughts, as they happen. I've always had, since I was a small kid. So, that kinda leaves my therapist without part of a job to do... Oops! :-o
I've always been this way. When I felt angry, I knew why. When I felt sad, I knew why. When I was happy, scared, shocked, or nervous.... I knew why! I can't help it! I'm a freak! LOL! =p