The Step Ladder

i understand schizophrenia only because i have schizophrenia. 
it seems like there are different levels of schizophrenia at any given moment, at least for me, just attacking away at me.  almost like a step ladder.  i can be at the bottom of my step ladder and everything is fine, just one voice i have to listen to "the Blue lady"
then just one certain trigger, like an outing to walmart will evoke the voice of ZUle,  and he tells me every man wants to abduct me in the store. and then i am at the top of the stepladder ready just to fall off and try to pick up the tiny pieces that are left of me.  the Blue lady does her best...

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morningstarr morningstarr
31-35, F
4 Responses Feb 16, 2008

I can relate you you on the 'trigger' thing, do you feel like as soon as you hear it your whole mind comes to a halt... like you KNEW that there was something in that trigger that makes what you're thinking is real. If I hear the word 'Acid' in any of the voices I hear, I immediatly freeze my mind to try and find where it's coming from.... because I want to talk to them about acid, and why they should'nt be ******* with my mind with a drug as powerful as that, because we don't want the trigger.

Thank you!

Hormonal schizophrenia????!!! Hahaar, seriously.

Hormonal schizophrenia????!!! Hahaar, seriously.