Green Happiness

I have been suffering from mental health issues since i was 16. I went for doctor to doctor handed out all kinda of weird and wodnerful pills  and nothing helped me. i went to therapy which never helped

one min i could be happy and next very low and at times i felt suicidal.

i had had enough of life many times i remembered back to my teenage years where i had tried marijuana and felt happy and i thought i would try it to help my mood.

so i brought some and i felt better. When i had a bad mood crash and i was feeling suicidal i would toke up and feel calm / normal again in no time
i could not keep getting marijuana because of the cost and it was hard to find a decent dealer.

So i started my own green garden in the middle of the woods about 50 miles away in a secure location. it costs me far less i get control over quality and type and its good.

i grow indica because it helps relax my body and mind and makes me feel normal again. some times it has caused me anxiety but i can live with that compaired to the low moods and suicidal thoughts and not sleeping either.

I believe god put this wonderful plant on here for a reason. Ever since i started i have been getting better over time i got back in to therapy talking to my counsellor every week and marijuana allowed me to open up explore my feelings and find peace with my troubled past.

i see pills from the doctors as a way to supress what your feeling not help deal with it like marijuana does for me. if you supress what is going on its only gonna come back and bite you in the *** when you stop. marijuana does not seem to supress to me it helps calm the storm enough to think clearly and work with the issues at hand
its like taking a step back and looking as yourself ,at your life so you can try and work on things.

i never want to be without marijuana because it helps my mood it helps me sleep it helps me when i am stressed and when i do not feel like doing work i smoke sativa and i feel like doing work.

wish they would legalize it or i wish i lived somewhere where it is legal like amsterdam. I would happily sell up and go live there

sarahbethuk sarahbethuk
26-30, F
4 Responses Jul 25, 2010

I guess smoking marijuana is like taking meds. I don't mean to endorse it , I mean it in the sense that when you are prescribed psychotropic medication everybodys biology is different and what works for one person may not work for you even if you have similair symptoms. I have lived with schizophrenia for 30 years. My last two years of high school I smoked pot every day several times a day and even after I was diagnosed I smoked but it screwed me up bad, I had no choice I had to quit. But then 6 years into my disease I started smoking it again. The reason I'm adding my two cents is it still screwed me up but I continued to smoke it. I smoked it long after I needed to quit, because I was fooling myself into thinking it was fun and it would be better the next time. The definition of insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results. I hope no one else is fooling themselves like I was.

I would love to move to the US / California but i am from Europe which sucks :( but some day i will visit ca again. not been there since i was a kid but some day i will go again.

Sofican, if you are in CA, you can get a recommendation from your doctor to use marijuana for your condition. I don't know where you live, but you would be able to go in to your local dispensary and make a lot better use of that $10 than spending it on one pill.

I really appreciate your sharing your experience. My Dr gives me merenol , the pill form and it is so helpful for pain and the mood stabelizer, the problem being it cost 10 bucks a pill. Evidently we here in California are looking at it being legal soon I hear and I'm so happy however I am having to move but one way or another I won't give it up if I can help it. I see it as a gift as well. Have a great day and thanks for sharing! sofican