I Must

I must escape this world, every single day.
Whether by drugs, alcohol, or dreams. Every day I imagine myself with super powers. Being a bender straight out of Avatar, or having telekinesis. Maybe I am a Technomancer, and can build any technological wonder I can think of. I love to imagine building a personal starfighter, and make little fusion reactors that are self sufficient that i give to the world. Sometimes I imagine myself as a half saiyan warrior with power over energy. I come up with cool names for maneuvers I use to destroy my enemies, and save the world. Other times I am a super soldier from far into the future. One of my favorites is when I'm a jedi! Lightsaber, force powers, bliss.
Some days however, I am not in the best of moods. This causes my fantasies to be of a different nature. I love to picture my death. A LOT. I have pictured my suicide, murder, accident, natural caused scenarios so many times. I picture the funeral, and everyone there. I picture myself being in a coma sometimes. I love the thought of a suicide that gets caught in time to save my life, but not in time to save me from a coma that lasts like 3 months. I love to think that those I love, love me back. I hear the words they would say. They never say them in real life now, but I know their thoughts. They will all say how much they regret not telling me while they had the chance. I even imagine what dreams I will have during a coma that hasn't even happened!
I hope beyond every other hope that one of these fantasies come true for me soon. Telekinesis is my favorite scenario, but I wouldn't mind settling for suicide. Thank you for reading about my twisted imagination.
nephandai nephandai
26-30, M
Sep 23, 2012