My Eating Disorder...

When i was in grade 5 i started developing an eating disorder, not anorexia, but over eating.  I was emotionally eating because my best (and only) friend moved half way through the year.  I started feeling empty inside and I would eat stuff and hide the wrappers.  By the end of the summer before grade 7 I was 5'4" and 160 lbs!  I hated the way I looked and knew I had to change, so I went to weight watchers.  The first year was pretty slow going (I still didn't eat to healthy) and by the end of that school year I had only lost about 10-20 lbs.  I kept eating that way over that summer and at the starting of gr.8 I was extremley frustrated; i wasn't loseing any more weight and it made me very depressed.  My mom suggested that I try the south beach diet, I tried it for a week or so and lost a few pounds, but i didn't like the recipes that i had to eat, so i stuck to the outline(mostly fruits and veggies, only one serving of grains and a few servings of meat).  That went extremly well and i was shedding pounds, I had gotten to my goal weight and was somewhat happy.  Soon and very slowly I started cutting the grains and carbs out completely.  My friend  who moved in gr.5 was now on la weightloss  and she was eating everything but was loseing tons of weight, i became jealous and by the end of may 2009 I would barely eat any meat/protein and only fruits and vegetables(basically just blueberries).  I continued eating that way and at one point in the summer I weighed 111 lbs(that was my lowest).  When school started again I had an experience that  made me become vegetarian, and i was literally living off canned pears and canned mandarians(don't know why those two things) and I was still obsessed with the thought of gaining weight.  I knew I needed help and i wanted to eat normally again before my problem got to serious.  Around October-Novemember 2009 I started going to 2 hour recovery sessions once a week.  It was literal torture!  I would rather be in school, the people there were total B***ches!  Every week i would cry and beg my parents not to make me go but they did.  Now 6 months later I am going to my final session on monday(even though I have been better since january, but they just wanted to make sure they didn't miss anything).  It has been an extreme struggle and there are days where i still am concerned about my weight but i just eat really healthy and excersise regularly. 

Emgem95 Emgem95
18-21, F
Mar 16, 2010