The One That Saved Me...

First of all: most of what I did has alot to do with my screwed up childhood where both my parents taught me that cheating on someone isn't a bad thing and that it can actually be good for your relationship by making you come home to your spouse happier.

I stayed a virgin until I was 17 1/2, but I dated everyone I liked even a little bit and at one point in high school I had 7 different boyfriends. After my first sexual experience, I would maintain many casual relationships. I liked being the girl that could be just as detached as a boy, the drama-free one that guys went to when they were having relationship problems. It made me feel powerful. And I simply could not stay faithful. I cheated on my first serious boyfriend mercilessly. We were also very sexual together, usually making love several times a day (whenever we weren't arguing, basically.) I liked getting away with it, but he actually knew about alot of my outside relationships and said he was ok with them.
Then I started dating my current boyfriend. I had always had feelings for him. He had only dated one girl before me and valued faithfulness. His ex had cheated on him several times and he said he was definitely not willing to go through that again, and if he caught me cheating, he would break up with me. So what did I do? I let my ex manipulate me into 'still being friends' (since my bf thought that was ok) and, since my ex knew all my fetishes (and my current bf isn't that sexual and I wasn't used to that so I felt unattractive), we started sleeping together again. Now my ex liked being the no-strings-attached one, and I was on the other side. Now I really got a thrill from 'getting away with it' because I suddenly had a really high-stakes situation. I had been cheating on my boyfriend for the entirety of our relationship with people other then my ex as well, including a co-worker, a virgin, an old friend, and someone a great deal younger than I was. This does not mean I don't love my boyfriend! I loved him from the beginning, this intense, aching, 'i know you're the one, I'm just waiting for you to see that I am the one for you' kind of love. And he had been with his ex for 2 1/2 years before immediately dating me so he was getting over that, plus him and my ex had been best friends, and my ex used to talk about me cheating, so maybe he didn't trust me....
Anyway, something weird happened. I started feeling guilty about cheating. This had never happened before. I started turning down more and more people about sex, until I was only seeing my ex, and then I told him I didn't want to keep cheating.
My ex was upset. He hadn't been entirely truthful when he said he was over me, that this didn't mean anything, that he liked and slept with other girls too... So he came over to my bf's house one day, about a year after I started dating him, and ratted me out.
I was terrified, hysterical, angry and disappointed in myself that I had picked someone way too close to my bf to have an affair with. I promised I'd never do it again, (I even cut my wrist just to show how sorry I was) and he forgave me. That ended up causing problems between us for a long time though before we worked it out.
Conclusion: Now my bf and I have been together for over 2 1/2 years. We love eachother and are very happy together. I don't cheat anymore. It was like an addiction; I had to admit I had a problem, learn the causes, learn to avoid tempting situations and find healthy ways to cope with my outrageous sex drive. When my ex told on me, I saw how much cheating hurt my bf, and I knew then that no cheap thrill is worth losing the man I want to be with for the rest of my life. So quit cheating, people! It's tought but it's worth it.
VfangzV VfangzV
18-21, F
1 Response May 6, 2012

I'm trying to answer a question. Do promiscuous people get sexual assaulted more and rape more. Did that happened to you?