My Depression

It started when my sister said she was pregnant. Which was my freshman year in high-school. She had always been what I would call the perfect daughter so when she said she was gonna have a baby I felt like my parents would expect me to be the the new perfect daughter. It was rather difficult to cope with I felt pressured yet no one was even doing anything yet. Then I realized that they still seen her as the perfect daughter and with the new baby on the way my mom dedicated her time to my sister and my dad was dedicated to mu brother and boy scouts no one was paying attention to me I was shut out or at least I made it seem I have this tongue oh making things worse in my brain so I wasbtalkim to a friend and she said" hey you know how i deal with stuff" and honestly I though she was gonna offer me drugs or something but she didn't she took a little razor outta her pocket and handed it to me. Told me not to get caught with it. I was cutting to cope. If I thought my mom wasn't paying me enough attention I acted out and when I see the hurt in her eyes I cut. And cut and cut. Let it act as a renewal but I got caught. My dad seen the cuts it took him 4 months to notice BC I hid them so well and when I saw the pain in his eyes it broke me. I couldn't keep doing that to him it wasn't right so I stopped. I have done it since. more then I meant to but tomorrow makes 2 weeks clean. Nd August will make 2 Yeats since I started. But I still feel like doing it when I feel like I am not good enough
tleigh0216 tleigh0216
18-21
May 11, 2012