Need Advice From Those Who Have Been Through It

Recently learned that my half sister who is 14 has been diagnosed as anorexic. They are going through treatment with the doctor,therapist and nutritionist. I want to be involved but I'm sconsidered a major outsider in the situation as I am not a parent nor a direct living at home sibling. The diagnosis and treatment have just begun within the past three weeks or so. My dad and stepmother seem unwilling to consider any concepts that aren't reccomended by the treatment team, even if it is joining a support group for themselves. In that respect I can only do so much. At the moment, my sister does not have really any outside friends to speak of, she goes to school and she comes home. In the process of getting to this point she has converted to Veganism and has the whole house converted as well. She refuses to eat at the table though as apparently there is some issue with how she feels about eating around my father. She stays in her "cave" and doesn't come out for love nor money.

I would like to do something but I'm not sure if this would even be advisable right now as she doesn't seem to show any interest outside of herself. She and I a both share an interest in things like horses, and animal care, I am studying to be a vet tech at the moment. Part of my school program involves volunteer work and what I would like to do is find a program where we could both volunteer at. I would then ask her to do it with me as I hate going to these things by myself when I don't know a soul and if she could help me by going with me it would be wonderful thing as it would help me in school etc. Then it would be something we could do together. She would be getting out etc. During this time it would be time to talk about someothing else, something that isn't school, food, family, nutrition etc it would be to talk about the volunteer project. If she wanted to talk to me about what she was dealing with she would of course be welcome to but if not that would be fine too. Just something to get her a bond of some kind to build a friendship on and to get her away from being able to dwell on the anorexia and it's treatment and the family members who are walking on egg shells around her.


I would like all input good and bad abuot my idea from people who are and have been going through and have gone through the whole process. Where were you at this point in your journey, do you think this is a good idea? Do you think it would do more harm than good, what could be done better, what shouldn't be done. Should I just keep my nose out of it etc. All advice and input is needed and welcomed.


Thank you for your time


acircle acircle
41-45, F
1 Response Feb 23, 2010

I think it is a wonderful idea. She may reject the idea, at least at first, because anorexia is a powerful obsession and when you are caught in the tide you have a very hard time focusing on anything else. But if you encourage the idea, and she accepts, then it very well could become an outlet for her, something to focus on besides eating, calories, etc. It may even be therapeutic in the sense that to take care of something else you have to take care of yourself. It could be motivation to move out of that "stuck" place of anorexia.