When You Think Your Nuts!!

Everyday you wake up take a shower (hopefully) get dressed and go to work. For a while there I needed a change, so heres one story of a girl who needed to get back to her roots, and was lost and found herself.......

I lived in this really small town most my life, went threw nothing but bad relationships with friends and lovers. Learnt all about drugs at a young age.  Also about  abuse and how not to raise your child. I had been involved with crack cocaine dealers and other drug dealers, gangsters and really just evil people. I was never a cocaine user but they seemed to be the only people I new. Really the hole town was coverd in a thick layor of depression and no exape from what felt like the end of the world. There is not much that didnt happen to me and other people that lived there know what I mean. I really just wanted to excape but no doors opened for me. I felt trapped in hell. So one morning I had this feeling I just had enough and I jumped in my car with my little boy and left. No destination, no money, no plan. I just drove, and drove then drove somemore. Now that I think of it I didnt even say good bye to anyone. I drove until I ran out of gas. Picked up the change I found on the  floor of my car and just kept on driving. I made it to a little town called Nelson BC. Parked my car by this train track, pretty much on the beach. My little boy was 3 years old at the time so we both got out and streached our legs. We went for a swim and forgot about the fact that we had nothing for a second. Forgot that we didnt even know were we were. Then after I set up a little place for him in the car to take a nap, it really kicked in. I didnt know were I was or how I was going to feed us or anything. But I didnt care I couldnt go back and I wouldnt go back even if I could have. So I started looking around I found a apple tree! So we had nothing that night but apples. Not bad cause I was ready to give up and just starve. You no what I did starve. I picked bottles around the small town. The moneythat I made went towards food for the little guy and I rashioned food to myself just enough to get by. My little boy lived in the car and I slept outside the car to keep watch at night. Ya, it was kinda scary. I met alot of different types of people while I was liveing like this and one of the coolest poeple I think ill ever meet was 14 years old girl that was liveing on the street. We met one night when it was cold out side, she had built  a shelter not far from were  we were staying. It was so cold that night that she asked me if she could share my fire. I told her to come on over. She was an odd looking girl with little black dread locks. She was very short and dressed like a hippy. She was traveling around running from her dark past.....Sounded pretty close to home so I decided to talk to her. We talked about our different backrounds and hit it off right away. We camped together for many nights. Hiking threw the  bush during the day she showed me how to collect cristals and sell them to the beed shops in Nelson. She also showed me how to find different things inthe bush that you could eat. She was also a thief and would steal food for the both of us for dinner. She showed me how to cook noodles and rice in a wet paper bag over the fire. We ust to hike way up in the mountains and cross rivers and streams all the time. We always almost died crossing because of current. But we made it. This one day when we crossed the river it changed my hole way of thinking. We must of been half way threw when she lost her back pack. This would have not been such a big deal, but this bag had all her belongings in it. Everything she owned.  We watched it float away, I tried to go after the bag but she wouldnt let me. She started off telling me to just stop and watch. So I did, she looked at me and smiled. She said dont be afraid for me, and dont be afriad for your self. You cant stop the course of your life you cant change it know matter what you do. Then she exsplained that no matter what happend wether we had no food wether we had nothing that the world and the universe would provide it. I didnt know really what she ment. Untill she showed me. The next day some random person came up to her and told her they were on the way to the second hand store and they noticed that she would be the right size for these close they couldnt use anymore. Then to top it off, she would always find money on the ground. She even found a place to stay in town for free with this church family that we always ust to sit with when we went there for the sunday free pot luck dinners. I took what she said on that day and I used it in everything I know do. She disapeard one day and I never saw her agian. But that one moment with her made me realize that I had no worries, I only had to live and try to make the right decitions. As long as I stayed on the right track I was always looked after.  I lived on the beach with my child for six months. I really trully never lived until I moved out and had nothing. When I had nothing it showed me that I really had more then I could have ever known. The world was finally mine and I new that I wasnt lost at all. I was right were I should have been. I had a big picture that I needed to see, I needed to see something beautiful in a life that started out a scary begining, turned out to be something beautiful. So now I pass this onto you so you can see it doesnt matter were you are or the circumstances, its whats inside you and what you truly deserve that will determin true self. I thought for the longest time that My little friend was crasy for what she did that day. Really I was crasy for not seeing what was always around me the hole univerce was looking after me. Its looking after all of us. It just makes life easier knowing that. 

Nish Nish
26-30, F
1 Response Jul 6, 2007

Oh my, that was a touching story! With such a deep meaning. I'm glad that everything turned up all right :)