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Im Fat And Nobody Likes Me

Even in elementary school i was still chubby. Im only 13 and people call me names all the time. All the guys i like don't like me back...when i look in the mirror all i want is to look beautiful and skinny. When i walk around in the mall, and look at all the guys with girlfriends, their gf is always skinny. A tiny waste. A tiny stomach. I weigh almost 215 lbs. sure, im confident on the outside, but in the inside im dying. I don't see anything but how fat my arms, stomach and legs are. i don't want anything more than to be skinny. Ive tried diets but i always fail to succeed. i can exercise but eating is my problem. when i see a donut on the table, i cant help but take a bite. then a bite turns into two. then that turns into the whole thing. i want to be skinny. i want to be liked. i want to have a bf. i want to feel pretty. I am so desperate to lose weight that i went to my mom and asked if i could take diet pills. she said no. she said that i would gain it all back once i stopped taking the pills. But i know she's wrong. i know that once im thin and pretty, i wont ever go back to being fat like i am now. There's this guy at my school, and i had a crush on him. But ofcourse he didn't feel the same way about me. He has said so many mean things about me behind my back. he called me a BMW (big-mexican-woman). he said to my friend, "i cant believe she thought she had a chance with me. i feel bad for her future boyfriend..if she ever has one". Ive been called fat so many times in my life it makes me sick. i don't wanna be like this anymore. My mom always says"if you don't like something then change it" and i try...god i try, but it is so hard. even my family calls me fat. im just so tired of being know as 'the fat girl'.
agk99 agk99 13-15 4 Responses Apr 7, 2012

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Hey. I was heavy as a kid. I'm 25 years old and fit now (male), but those feelings of being picked on and a negative self-image don't die easily. Also, damn if I don't still see overweight people and feel a pang of emotion as a voice from somewhere deep in my brain lights up saying something mean that was said to me or that I said about myself and then feels pain at hearing it. I must say though, that's been going away, especially since I'm not surrounded by ******** who criticize people. Think of this, nobody ever remembers the critics of the world except those people bold enough to be original. Critics are anonymous people. Nobody has the answer to life, so sometimes everything feels wrong, but reasonably speaking, you're not. My theory is that people are easily obsessed with cruelty, especially groups of kids. If you look around, you see that people like to get riled up (e.g. sports fans, war, riots, hysteria etc). Not enough adults teach compassion by example in school, so you get rabid ******** like that guy who you liked, but who talked about you behind your back. He's doing the age old trick of making enemies to make friends, but that's a shallow form of friendship that seems like it can turn bad for him if he ends up on the wrong end of that bitterness he cultivated. I never understood why kids picked on other kids and didn't just see each other for how they were; maybe they had parents with critical dispositions. Why else would a child care whether someone else was overweight? Either way, a reason isn't needed to understand that it sucks to be on the receiving end of that stuff, but some of the greatest people on earth are criticized daily just for being themselves and they rise to great heights, inspiring millions. Look at Barrack Obama, whether you support him or not, no doubt he absorbs a ton of criticism from millions of people and on NATIONAL TELEVISION, but he gets out there and does his job, quite calmly. Martin Luther King Jr., was criticized and called all sorts of terrible things, in addition to being physically attacked for something as simple as wanting to be treated equally :-). So look, take your pick, you're in good company if you're being picked on. I had a goal in mind when I started writing this, some vague intention to make you feel better, but I'm not sure how to do that. Maybe like some voice from the future, I am talking to you now, but promises are easier to make than they are to keep and few forms of advice are easy to follow. I guess i'm just saying, I was there once too, I understand how you feel. As far as losing weight, if that's what you want to do, then you can do it. You might believe you can't because it take some days to get there and your mind is more focused on the here and now than how things will be in the future, but, if you just take it one day at a time, you can find yourself in a changing body. Every thousand mile journey begins with a first step and sometimes every day feels like the first step of that journey. The way I lost weight was I joined the cross country team in high school. I could barely run a half mile when I first joined, but having a coach who said "It doesn't matter if you're not fast, we'll make you fast" really helped (I was never fast and still am not, although I work out regularly). Incidentally, the reason I joined was because I borrowed 65 cents from the cross country coach to buy a bag of chips and he said, "If I give this to you will you join the cross country team next year?" I said yes and was too ashamed of not following through. So for 65 cents, I ran cross country for three years haha! The good thing about it too is that I developed the habit of exercise from that, so for 65 cents, which I think I used to buy sour cream and onion chips (I still remember the green bag they came in, the logo, the vending machine in the school cafeteria, and the salty great taste. They were my favorite), I must've logged like 10000 miles on foot by now :-p. *hands you 65 cents*

I had very similar experiences as you when I was 13. It is so hard a teenager. I had braces and I had acne. It wasn't till I was 34 that I lost the weight (2 years ago). It is difficult to do it on your own, but it can be done. I hope your mom will be supportive, but (I Don't know her situation) she may be struggling with her own weight. It is hard, I think, as a parent to see your child go through what you're going through, but really should be helping you get to a healthy point in your life. It really is more important that you do this for yourself for the right reasons. I didn't like myself, so no one else did either.

You should cut back all fried food, no sweets (I know it's hard, but stick with fresh fruit - it's usually the right amount of sugar). I found that for me I needed to cut carbs, but it's tricky because you need to do it the right way. I stopped craving these high carb foods. If I had a bad day it would mean I may not lose any weight that week. But it did work for me. If anything, your doctor should be helpful. It's his duty to help you get healthy.

Don't give up.

Nutrition is the most important thing in order to keep a balanced weight, I'm telling you this because this has made such a big difference in my body. Talk to your mom about this 90 day challenge, it requires no diet pills it is shake replacement meals. I am currently using the transformation kit and so far I've lost 25 pounds, and I'm only in my second month. A friend who introduced me to this challenge has changed many people lives and I'm one of them, check out his page http://gutierrezdiego.myvi.net/. If you have any questions let me know, its easy and it actually taste good. If you live near by I'm sure you can go to one of his challenge parties and taste some samples. Were in CA.

If you are eating emotionally, and people are making fun of you about being fat, then you eat to comfort yourself, you end up getting fatter.



What I suggest is setting yourself a calorie "target" for the day and writing down what all you eat...if you're constantly hungry the target is too low.

Oh, drink lots of water, no sugar soda. Try not to eat fried foods-but if you are aiming to hit a calorie "target", you'll find eating junk generally means you'll be hungry, and will get to suffer at the end of the day, so this method naturally discourages junk and encourages veggie eating.

Eat veggies. Eat a lot of them.



It's really hard when you are a teen to control your eating, because the self-control "circuitry" in your mind is just not as developed as an adult's.

This means you will have days where you just fail to control your eating. Don't beat yourself up about it, just restart the diet the next day.



Keep working out.