Even in elementary school i was still chubby. Im only 13 and people call me names all the time. All the guys i like don't like me back...when i look in the mirror all i want is to look beautiful and skinny. When i walk around in the mall, and look at all the guys with girlfriends, their gf is always skinny. A tiny waste. A tiny stomach. I weigh almost 215 lbs. sure, im confident on the outside, but in the inside im dying. I don't see anything but how fat my arms, stomach and legs are. i don't want anything more than to be skinny. Ive tried diets but i always fail to succeed. i can exercise but eating is my problem. when i see a donut on the table, i cant help but take a bite. then a bite turns into two. then that turns into the whole thing. i want to be skinny. i want to be liked. i want to have a bf. i want to feel pretty. I am so desperate to lose weight that i went to my mom and asked if i could take diet pills. she said no. she said that i would gain it all back once i stopped taking the pills. But i know she's wrong. i know that once im thin and pretty, i wont ever go back to being fat like i am now. There's this guy at my school, and i had a crush on him. But ofcourse he didn't feel the same way about me. He has said so many mean things about me behind my back. he called me a BMW (big-mexican-woman). he said to my friend, "i cant believe she thought she had a chance with me. i feel bad for her future boyfriend..if she ever has one". Ive been called fat so many times in my life it makes me sick. i don't wanna be like this anymore. My mom always says"if you don't like something then change it" and i try...god i try, but it is so hard. even my family calls me fat. im just so tired of being know as 'the fat girl'.