I Wish I Could Be Skinny Again

Just  3 months ago my weight was 40 kg (My height is 160 cm) and I was underweight. I look really sick, like a skeleton and wasnt happy at all. All my clothes were hanging and my bones were sticking out.

I've been all my life a bit chubby and everybody made fun of me. I felt like I didn't belong with all the others in my Family. Last year I started to lose weight because of all the stress in school. Soon I started to obsess about the healthiness of the food I was eating and I began more and more obsessed about it . Fat people and unhealthy people disgusted me. I didn't eat pasta, bread, rice, butter, sweets etc. I  lost 12 kg in eight months.

I was eating only fruits, vegetables and proteins.

Just before christmas I realized that I was really obsessed about food and my looks. My hair was falling out, I was cold all the time and i had lots of other symptoms underweight people have. I started to eat more, but i't was really hard at first. Now I have gained 7 kg in just four months and I'm afraid that I've got a binge eating problem. I'm really unhappy with my looks and I disgust myself  because I eat so much. I wish I could lose a bit of weight and have a healthy relationship with food. I'm so sick of this. Why is eating so hard???

ssari ssari
1 Response Apr 6, 2010

Lucky You...Only 7kg in a month... About 4 months ago I weighted 34,5kg (I'm 5'5'') and people around me MADE ME gain weight... Now I'm ******* 64kg and I'm just sitting in home all day because I'm THAT depressed...The time when I was skinny was the best time of my life and I would do ANYTHING to have it back...I already joined a gym but whenever I'm in there and I see all these fat people (including me) I'm thinking 'What the hell happened to me, what am I doing here'. So just so you know, if you're going to gain weight because someone told you so, just stop now, cos you gonna end up like me...