What ever happened to that little girl at the age of 5 happy as can be and learner how to dive, always carefree not a regret in the world, I was far from perfect but I never knew. At the age of 8 I started worrying about my weight, seeing all my stick thin friends that always left food on their plate. At the age of 10 I started dieting constantly looking in the mirror seeing if I was perfect. At the age of 11 I was as happy as can be, always laughing, smiling, talking, living in the present and not thinking about the future. At the age of 12 I couldn't eat, no longer hungry, I was starving, my mom never bought food, constantly depressed, always had the teachers worried sick. At the age of 13 where I am now, I no longer see the light at the end of the tunnel, I have trouble trusting people, thinking what could they do to me? I cut occasionally, constantly worried and stressed, so tired I can hardly get dressed. I put a smile on my face but no one can see what has happened to me. Almost committing suicide, wanting to down a bottle of pills. The teachers don't worry now, seeing that I have a smile on my face, my family not noticing the pain that I'm in. I lie to my counselor, about being alright, she asks," are you doing good?" I say ,"yes" ( no I'm not I'm dying on the inside)
CatWithScars CatWithScars
16-17, F
Aug 19, 2014