I Never Grown

I was cutting myself as a teenager. I know It is a mental problem or something..

My family didnt abuse me sexually but my childhood wasnt the best that a kid could have.

I met a girl. I fell in love with her. She knew I was a cutter and asked me not to do it anymore. She said that it would be good to be sisters first and to vow not to harm myself again

And so it went.

Last time I cut myself was 3,9 years ago.
Now I am 22 and I just did it again

I needed to breath, she was yelling at me.. For the past month ev1 just yelled to me and i was feeling **** and alone

And i was crying so much for long, I needed to do it, to be cut again and again and I cut myself in front of her, i needed oxygen I needed peace and I wanted to see my arm bleed.

I am not stupid, i know what i do...
I know i have a depression and I am afraid so much to ask for help coz above all I like wat i am, i dont wanna go to a doc that will brainwash me to luv ppl, coz i really hate them all.

I dont know...
Maybe I will always be cut and happy amongst my sadness....
ShadowRealm ShadowRealm
22-25, F
Mar 31, 2007