Bleeding to Feel

I cut for 6 years. My arms are covered in thick, bumpy white scars. I refuse to cover them up. I wont tattoo over them. They are my war wounds. A war against myself. They are a part of me.
It took a long time for me to get better. I was in and out of hospitals and long term treatment facilities. I went through bottles of pills and nothing worked. Finally, I found something. and Someone to help.
It took me a year after that to get back on track.
Ive been having a hard time recently.
I always think about cutting. I love watching myself bleed, and scab and heal and have something to pick at and heal again and finally scar, bright red, and then white.
Sometimes I wonder what people think when they see them. And then I remember, I don't care, because its not their life.
RubyLou RubyLou
18-21, F
2 Responses Jun 19, 2007

Yea, I love to watch myself bleed, then picking at the scab..... I havent cut for about 3 weeks which is good for me cuz i usto cut everyday. And like you, I have scars and dont care who sees!

Thank you for sharing your story, stay strong. What did you find that helped you stop?