I Still Do.

I'm 16 and i've cut myself on and off for about 3 years. this year being my worst. I guess i started because i couldn't deal with everything it all seemed to go wrong at once and i had learnt that taking it out on other people made everything worse. So i would do it once or twice a week in the first year then i sorta stopped for a while since it was too hard to hide from my friends and family. and then started again when i was 15 and its just gotten worse and worse. I don't even think about it anymore i know i should stop i know that its not a good thing but that never seems to cross my mind when imin the moment. After i do it i always feel better like i let my anger out and i got what i deserved, then sometimes i'll think maybe its all in my head and i don't really feel better. At the moment i want to stop i just don't know how it's all i've done when things have gotten ruff.

BrokenSound BrokenSound
18-21, F
2 Responses Aug 5, 2007

Lucid makes a good point...you need to find another outlet that's healthy and safe.<br />
Despite the fact I've never cut myself, I still know how hard it is to deal with everything on your own.<br />
If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you just like you're here for me. But just talking to strangers isn't enough...you really should get some professional help.<br />
I was really wary and scared of admitting there was something wrong with me, but one day I finally decided once and for all I was going to get help for my depression. And let me tell you, I feel better than I used to. It's a slow process, but it's so good to not feel so alone.

Hello Broken Sound. Your story does indeed sound like mine. I started cutting around the same time as you, and I was just your age when I cut my last time. I was so very depressd when I was 15/16. But if you really want to stop cutting you can. <br />
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One of the things that helped me stop, was the realization that I can change things in my life. That my life wasn't static, it was fluid. One of the worst things for me was feeling stuck, stuck in a life I hated. People would tell me that my life would change eventually, but it never seemed to, year after year, it just seemed to go on. <br />
<br />
Eventually I found little things that made me happy, I discovered that I like to paint. So I painted a lot, I also met people who made me feel better about myself, who told me positive things about me. I started feeling more thankful. Find something in your life that you don't like, that you can change maybe something small, and change it. This realization that you can change the bad things in your life was a very powerful one for me. Also finding ways other than cutting to cope with the bad times in your life can help a lot, that way you have something else to turn.