Not to Die..

I don't cut to die!!    I started cutting about 6 years ago when i was leaving elementry school and entering the new world of highschool.  At first it was just a phase to me, then I became addicted.  When i was younger I used to get into a trance where all I wanted to do was cutt, and I couldn't snap out of it. Not once in these 6 years has a friend/ family/ co worker EVER found out that I am a cutter nor have I told anyone. I feel its more of a personal thing, to help me deal with what life throws at me. I don't think my life is even all that bad. I just cut as a way of dealing!!   It's a physical pain to take away the emotional pain. I used to always think bout suicide and death, and I used to write letters. 
   But I've grown up and realized that life isn't that bad. It has it's ups and downs.  Sometimes life seems to be terrible and not worth living, but then something comes along and brings me back up.
    I stopped cutting for almost 6 months, and let me tell you it was not easy. Instead of cutting, I chose to be anorexic. While that was deffinitly too easy and got me really sick. 
    Things are getting better now, like I eat.. mosttimes.  But I still cut.   I believe its an addiction, like smoking!  It's not good for you, but it's hard to quit. It's something you need to want to quit, and i most deffinitly don't.

Hope everyone else on this bored, is stable and doing alright. Know that someone out there loves you, and in the end there really is some light. Love you all
<3

chateone chateone
18-21, F
1 Response Feb 14, 2007

A....yeah. I am going to tell you that you should stop that. Love you too. Maybe play sports and get hurt that way. It sounds much better. Go play paintball. You might find it fun. And if you where thin clothing, it will still hurt, lol. Take care!!!