One Addiction To The Other

I was always alone. I was always picked on, in school for anything the other kids could think of. I grow cold and distant. I had friends but they would either stab me in the back or leave because of my emotional distance. My home was just the same. No mother, a drunk for a father, a druggy for a grandmother, and two step mothers that caused me to go to therapy. One day I had enough and decided to end it but I was to scared to really do it. I had just cut my self and found the burning pain a relief, I became addicted. I cut my self for 3 years until I found a better burning. Smoking cigarettes. For 3 more years I switched between the two. Then for a while I stopped cutting but then life got to hard for just cigs so I went back to both. My parents never found out. They never knew I cut or smoked or even try to kill myself.
Norealidentity Norealidentity
26-30, F
2 Responses Jul 18, 2010

Thanks but it is easier said then. I will try. I might make it til I'm 50. : )

I CUT WHEN I WAS 14 FOR A FEW YEARS.IT MADE ME FEEL.I THEN DISCOVERED ALCOHOL THEN CIGARETTES THEN POT ,THEN AMPHETAMINES FROM A DOC WHO THOUGHT I WAS TOO FAT BECAUSE I WAS ALSO BINGEING.THROW IN A MARRIAGE, 3 KIDS, DIVORCE, JAIL STAYS FOR DRUNK AND DISODERLY, MENTAL INSTITUTION STAYS FOR SUICIDE ATTEMPTS AND THAT WAS MY LIFE.I AM NOW 68 YEARSS OLD AND STILL ALIVE ,AS HAPPY AS CAN BE EXPECTED LIVING ON THIS LOSER PLANET.PLEASE KNOW THIS, IF YOU DO IT ONE DAY AT A TIME,ARE KIND TO OTHERS, EVEN THOSE WHO **** YOU OFF, IT WILL GET BEARABLE. LOVE AND PEACE TO YOU