Reason For My Scars

When I was about nine years old I was raped an molested on an almost daily basis for about a year. The man who did it was my moms 43 year old boyfriend, i felt that no one would believe me so i told absoultly no one for four years wich was the biggest mistake. By the time I was twelve i was cutting myself, i had cuts all over my legs. I moved in with my dad, an then it all got worse and worse until i tried to kill myself, and then i confessed my secret to my sisster and left the house for the night. After intense counsling evreyong thought i was better. Abot a few mounths later i returned to my moms where her now x-boyfriend just got out of prison for child molestation, the charges were pressed by a diffrent girl. I had pressed charges, unwilling but i did and nothing was done cause it had been so long, so therefore i was terrified to leave the house by myself because of him. So I spent my days smoking weed and drinking, I was never sober, and I had at least 30 cuts on my arms at all times, until I made my second attempt of sucide. I was hospitlised for ten days, even thanksgiving, seeing all the people in there with REAL issues. I never wanted to go back there so i quickly enrolled myself in more counsling and went on homeschool and havn't cut since. I still smoke weed and drink, an im on medication but it does get better it just takes A LOT of time.
mentalpatient mentalpatient
18-21, F
1 Response Nov 10, 2006

sorry to hear that, My mothers boyfriend tryed to sexually abuse me and got scared and ran. Other people molested me and when I said something no one believed me, After all that I ran ways fom home and met someone way older than me and thought he loved me. I was 15 n he was 27 at the time, after being with him, marrying him and having children, he made me believe that I had to put up with the abuse, rape,mentally abusing me and putting me down alot. Then one day thank god I got myself up and moved with my children. So my advise to you is :stand up brush yourself off and tell yourself my past is a past and leave it there, and think about the future and your life. And most of all have faith in him, he has someone for you in your life just give him time. If you like to talk to me email me when ever k Take care cuz I care