Im just about done grade 9, and ive acheived a lot of my goals this year. Liike Making sports teams, finding more sef confidence, and stop cutting. So basicallt i used to go to a K-9 school, which in my opinion is THE WORST idea ever. mainly because ur stuck with people fomr 10 years. but anyway right fro grade 1 i was chosed to be this girl's victim. lts call her Sarah. so basically everyday sarah would go out of hay to personally make my life hell. grade 4 was the worst. i would cry my self to sleep every night and scream that i wanted to kill my self, to which my dad would respond by screaming back for my to "go the eff to sleep" at one poin i grabbed a knife and was fully prepared to stab right into my stomach. and for reasons still un known to this day i didnt. i ust put it back in the drawer. also hat year i sarted trying to starv myself. i wouldn eat breakfast, my mom would make me alunch but i just threw it out at shool. and for dinner i ate very little. so lets skip to grade 6, thats the year i stopped caring.i just gave up trying o fit in because i knew i never would, and i stopped feeling all emotional pain. so then finally my parents moved me schools after i just los t interest in everything. i wasnt eating anything i didnt do anything exept play my flute for hours and hours. i hated that thing. i practiced so much, but never got any better. so come grade 8 i was in a new school adn everyhting was perfect. my walls weere comming down i was doing really great in band, everything seemed perfect, untill i met brittany who knew a guy who went to my old school i was scared that she would find out about my past and that it would haunt me here. nothing like that ever happened. (THANK GOD!) anyway so the i started getting these horrifying flashabcks of myme at my old school and i just couldnt take it. so for the first tme ever i cut my self. it was in the winter so it went un noticed. i cut my wrist my leg my upper arm by my shoulder. my skin s so blotcy up by my shoulder so it just blended in and the ones on leg just healed and went y. but the one of my wrist left a nasty scar. then again this year i had a fight wth my dad and i cut my self again, right under the first one, it too let a nasty scar. i was into wearing tanktops and such so my mom noticed i told her it was nothing, but she didnt believe me so her and my dad set up a thereapist that i go see every wednesdand i love her. and i havent cut since. ive been cean for about 3 and a ahld months now. but the scars r stll there and i hate them and when i get really cold or pale they turn kinda purple and r so obious i try to cover them up with makeup ut it rarely works. but im a lot happier than i was.