An Interesting Predicament

Funny thing is, I don't have much of a comparable life experience with cutting.  Rather, I think I picked it up by contact.  Hell, I don't know what I'm saying.  All I know is that I had this girlfriend who used to cut herself, and I could never understand why.  She was beautiful, talented, everything.  And then she finally told me that her father sexually abused her as a child, and she always felt like it was her fault, and she would take it out on herself.  Recently, she was murdered.  I didn't ever cope with it, and suddenly I would find myself getting drunk, finding my faults inside of myself, and wanting to punish myself for those things.  I still haven't dealt with her killing, but I'm working on it.  I hadn't cut in forever.....but then I got really drunk the other night, did something that I found to be incredibly shameful, and found myself on my friend's kitchen floor with a paring knife and a bottle of whiskey.  I cleaned my cuts, but they still hurt pretty badly.
weaponofchoice weaponofchoice
22-25, F
Jan 2, 2007