The Monster Known As Meth

One year clean from methamphetamine I still struggle in my recovery. This journey is unforgiving. The struggle great. At times, too much. I'm looking for friends, those who know of what I am going through or those going through a struggle of there own. Feeling lonely now that people, places, and things have changed with dramatic force. I ask for help and bid you hello.
glass1ncision glass1ncision
26-30, F
7 Responses Dec 15, 2012

I know that monster all too well. I smoke everyday, & feel powerless over this drug. It has taken everything from me. I sometimes feel that it has even taken my soul. I could not imagine what it must feel like to be "normal".

I've been smoking for almost a year now and today is my first day being sober. I don't know how to deal with my feelings which is why I smoked for so long. I have been suffering from depression and found it to be a great antidepressant until my paranoia and social anxiety worsened...So I ask how do you deal with being lonely? I live in San Diego, Ca by the way...

i know exactly how you feel im acutally crashing down pretty hard right now i don't know why i keep doing this to myself im in college and i have too much to loose and i need all my brain cells because i plan on going to med school....i feel that the high isn't worth the paranoia and depression i really feel like its the end of the world when im coming down ....i feel like no one knows how i really feel ..i've been on kind of a binge since friday ..its monday..well tuesday technically ..i slept about 5 hours this whole time and ate half a biscuit and a bite of noodles..i only ate bc i wanted to get hgher and needed something in my system...i like not having an appetie and staying up for days ...i have a hard time excepting that i can't stay high always have to come down ..ive done many other drugs but this is the one that i consider my doc nothing else was strong enough for me.....the only thing that does scare me though is that this stuff wil eat awqy your teeth....i truly feel like im a drug addict...i have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and drugs are the only thing that help me deal with it ...sorry if this is hard to understand remember i am crashing off this **** ..just know that there are other people out there that are suffering from the same thing and can truly say i know how you feel....good luck in your recovery

You r not alone my drug of choice was crack..not meth..but nevertheless..a soul taker...i have been clean 7 yrs as of dec 19 2012..i recently found out my husband has been using occasionally..(more than that) ok..maybe im in my sobriety has been tested as the crack baggies i found..r still hidden..not flushed..why..u say?? Because i dont want him to think i took it from him and I did it..**** flushing flushed..sry about my my rant..i guess i needed gets easier..if i think about it i fastforward to the end of my usage..(only 1 year) but i went thru hell and lost..a lot..but today i have 4 beautiful kids..and they have there mom..all of me..message me anytime ur feeling alone..u lost ur best friend after all....but she was slowly killing you..

Its amazing how lonely one can feel even when surrounded by company.. Always thought it strange to live in reality after sobriety.

I spent 17 years addicted to meth. I have been clean for 6 years next month. I had to leave the state I lived in and all my friends behind in order to do it. It gets easier. I still think about it pretty frequently. But I remember how unhappy I was at the end of it all. I don't ever want to go back to that place again. You can get through this. Message me anytime you want to talk. Good luck to you.

Hi :) you are not alone. Feel free to pm me. Have you tried a support group? Well done for getting clean.