My Brief Time On Crystal MethI'm probably the last person anyone would have expected to be on Ice. I come from a good family, I went to private schools, and I have degrees from two of the best universities in the country. When I was at school I don't remember ever hearing about Ice. Drugs classes put me off doing heroin so much I always swore that's one thing I would never touch. Mostly because it's so addictive and I was scared of getting addicted to a hard drug.
I remember reading about Ice when I started uni. The media reports made it sound really scary. My boyfriend told me he used it in his country. When I moved to his country he introduced me to it. I asked him if it was really bad and he told me it wasn't. I believed him. A very stupid act, for someone supposedly so smart. But I trusted him, foolishly. I only had it a few times during that period and then left the country. I only found out recently that he was on it a lot during that time. I moved back to Australia, and went years without doing Ice. I never once even saw it in Melbourne. Then this year I moved to the Gold Coast.
It's hard for me to know how big the Ice problem really is on the Gold Coast but in the circles I ran in it was everywhere. My boyfriend at the time introduced me to it again. He did, however, discourage me from making it a regular habit. One thing I have learnt, is friends do not encourage friends to take Ice. I took it a few times over the next couple of months, and then I swore off it. Many of the people I know on the Coast have already lost heaps to Ice.
Two months ago I moved in with a girl from the Ice crowd. I had no idea at the time that she's on it hard and has been for years. For the first month I still had no idea. She hid it from all of the other housemates. We had it at her birthday shortly after I moved in, but I still had no idea of the extent of her using. Then about a month ago she broke up with her boyfriend and I was in her room and guys offered it to me. It kind of went from there. In the past, when I'd taken it, it would be a few hits. But this time, after being high for a couple of days, I was offered it again. I asked the guy if it would be bad to do it again. He asked me if I'd slept, and when I said yes he told me it'd be fine. You may think I'm really stupid to trust these people, and you'd be right, but it's not uncommon. I've always seen the best in people, which has led me to get involved with some really shady characters.
I had a psychotic episode. It was terrifying. I thought people were plotting to kill me. I had some thoughts about my housemate, that she was talking about me behind my back. I told her about it afterwards and she convinced me that it was all in my head.
The thing with Ice psychosis is, some of the paranoid delusions are really ridiculous, but when you're hanging out with people on Ice, they might actually be true. It takes all the good out of people. Your “friends” actually might be plotting behind your back. People on Ice do terrible things to each other. I remember my housemate talking about her friend, saying she got away with many things because she was plotting several steps ahead, and people would never believe her actual motives. Well, that's exactly what my housemate did to me.
I asked my housemate a few questions about one of the guys who had been giving it to me, so it was clear I liked him. She was happy about that and really encouraged me to get with him. I knew she had liked him in the past and I thought it was really nice that she was actually encouraging me to get with him considering this fact. After about a week of hanging with him we hooked up. She seemed happy for me. But I knew I had to get out of the scene, and I knew the only way to get out was to get off the Coast. I didn't think my housemate would take well to that, and I was right.
My last weekend this guy was there and of course I wanted to spend some time with him. We had what I thought was a beautiful moment when I gave him a massage and he fell asleep in my arms. I actually thought she thought that was sweet. He was really sleepy and I tried to get him to come to bed with me, thinking that was pretty innocent after what had been going on between us. Meanwhile she started having sex with her friend, a girl she has ********** with, right in front of us and another guy. I thought that was our cue to leave, so I woke him up and brought him to my room. We started having sex and she walked in on us and went psycho. I didn't even understand why until later. She actually thought I was supposed to share him with them! She was actually angry at me for not sharing him! I really don't think he even had any intention of having an **** anyway. For starters I really don't think that's his style and secondly there had been plenty of other occasions for that to happen if that's what he'd wanted- he just didn't want to get with either of those girls. Which is understandable because he knows that they are total ******* *****. I know that sounds like a terrible thing to say about anyone, but in their case it really is true.
It's hurtful to think of the lies she spread about me after that, but I can only hope that one day people will figure out the truth about her. At the end of the day, though, it doesn't matter. Several people from the scene are dead already. Many have been in jail. I have way too much to lose. I will not go down that route. I left Australia and have moved to a country where Ice isn't prevalent yet. I'm so grateful that I know there is more to life. I know the difference between right and wrong. Ice totally twists people's morality. It takes away your desire to do good things. It makes you selfish. It takes a strong person to overcome it. Just look at the statistics- they're absolutely terrifying. I'm proud to say I was one of the ones who got away.