Junkie

I used to be a junkie. I used to live for the next high. From the time I woke up till the time I went to bed I would be trying to score whatever I could get. There was a time when I would do whatever you put in front of me without care or fear of consequences.

Is there someone you can blame that got you started? Well, someone always helps you get started, but you can't blame them. They didn't put the bowl in your mouth, the rolled up dollar bill in your nose or the needle in your hand.

I grew up in an area loaded with drugs. Everyone I knew did drugs. I knew exactly what parts of whatever city to go to where I could get whatever I want. My main vice was heroin. I can't say I hate it, because I don't. I love the way it makes you feel and that's dangerous.

The only way for me to quit was to just get out. I packed up my stuff and left the area and moved to a different state. The best decision I ever made and I've never looked back. But still, a tick goes off inside me that makes me want some once in a while. And there are times that it would feel great just to have a little. But I used to do a little, and the little wouldn't do so the little got more and more, in the words of Guns and Roses.
deleted deleted
26-30
4 Responses Sep 21, 2012

I was addicted to cocaine and I know exactly how you feel. I quit because I got rhinitis and my nose was so ****** up that for two months I wasn't able to breath, I wasn't able to sleep either. I almost overdosed once and it was the worst experience of my life, I was so high that I got paranoid and had a panic attack. I thought I was going to die. The worst part of it is that I still think of it and I wanna do it so bad, even though I haven't do it in so much time. Just stay strong.

what strength it must have taken you to move....

this is what i think my son needs to do...he's 18 and addicted to heroin...he came and stayed with me for awhile, thinking that if he got away from the place and friends that he does it with it would help...but i'm only 45 min. away...it was never far enough. He's doing pretty good right now, he's working...but i know, he's kind of a ticking time bomb..

an interesting story you packed up and started life somewhere new sounds good what did you do about meeting new clean friends and did you need to keep quiet about your old life style to be accepted by people. But you showed great inner strength to do what you done you would make a great role model for others trying to start afresh.