Aneorexia Nervosa

I had aneorexia to the point that i weighed 7st at 6'tall and was emaciated, extremely physically ill, but much worse i was trapped in a calorie counting, self loathing hateful world of misery, and paranoia, truly walking alone in the depths of suffering and mental torture.
this was 5 yrs ago and i am now completely well and have left my illness behind for the most part.
i will always be haunted by the shadows of the ghost that used to rule me.
but now with work i can look away and feel safe.
eating disorder are horrendous but i am very glad i was fortunate enough to be able to suffer so greatly, as in that sadness and terrifying darkness i was truly alone and therefore got to know myself very well. pain is hard but to love life you must love ALL of its aspects pain is one of them, no more positive, significant or useful than any of the others but no less. to avoid pain, or anything else, is to avoid one of the mutually exclusive aspect of truly loving life.
i truly love life and being alive, which is something that for me always seemed an impossibility
thanks for reading
trev23 trev23
22-25, M
4 Responses Jan 27, 2012

Great you over came this. Thank you for sharing.

I'm glad you made it. I know how miserable it feels. And now 10 years later, I'm finally as good as I think I'll ever be. And I'm really happy! But **** I went through everything... Related issues like addiction and depression, poor self esteem. And finally now I am getting to be freer. Good luck :)

im glad to hear that you have done so well. i didnt look at the death rates until after my recocery thankfully. you and i are in the minority, im glad you are embracing your new life. i hope it treats you as wonderfully as you can appreciate x

eating is one huge step in over coming this disorder, to me it sound llike u took contrl over ur life. surving this disorder is facing it and overcoming it, unfortunately ppl die from this and couldnt say they broke free

very true, i took control as a last resort, i was fortunate that the very last thing i tried was the one that worked, i guess alot of people never get to the right path for them

Wow your story is amazing an inspiring. Aneorexia Nervosa is deadly. It truly goes deeper than just an eating disorder. I gave a speech infront of my class not to long ago about this issue, explaining the horrible factors of Anerorexia. Its tragic how if someone struggling with this disorder, and does not get the help needed ASAP.... they may not be able to overcome and survive this disorder.

i dont think anyone really survives the disoder in the sense that it is completely none existant in your life. i will always have aneorexia nervosa its just that now i can eat