Its Just Like Any Other Addiction

I started self mutilating at 11. One day after yet another fight and countless bullying I went to a store I shoplifted regularly from, and I stole a pack of razor blades.
Ony my way home I carved many words (Hate, alone, scared, sad, etc) into my arm along with many horizontal slashes.

This first time was relitively mild. But my self destructive behaviour progressively got worse, I started to also burn and bruise my self, I started smoking drinking and taking drugs.

I jumped in front of cars, and overdosed several times. I was a right state.

When I was 14 one of my teachers noticed my scars and refered me to a guidance counciller, It didnt help me really.

Self harm was so hard for me to stop. It was something I could do without interferance, I had control, or so I though.
But really it controled me.

I have stoped and relapsed several times

I havent self harmed in 9 months now. I hope I can keep it up.
JadeAlexMcKenzie JadeAlexMcKenzie
18-21, F
5 Responses Jul 16, 2010

I have not cut myself to the point where I bleed in eight months but have scratched myself up last month. I always would bite myself when I was frusterated since I was litle.

This is absolutely wonderful! I'm very proud that both of you have come this far! I know what hell it is to get this far, and I just wanted to say congratulations! <br />
<br />
I haven't cut in a year and four months, after five long years of self-harming, and it is the most proud I have ever felt in my entire life. <br />
<br />
I wish you both the best of luck, offer my friendship if you ever need it, and if you need any help with that blog, I would be more than happy to give it.<br />
<br />
Love is the movement <3

Thank youuu :]<br />
And yeah i have rellapsed a couple times before the 3 months.<br />
This time I don't think I'm going to go back to it.<br />
I've noticed I have wayyy too many other things that I could be doing with my time.<br />
And I've found new ways to deal with the urges :]<br />
I actually have a blog out to help people who do self mutilate.

Thank you for your comment. <br />
You can do it, it will be effing hard, and you probably will relapse at some point but when that happens you just need to get back on that band wagon.<br />
Good luck.<br />
<br />
xoxo Jade

Your story was inspiring to me. <br />
I haven't cut in 3 months and I'm really proud of myself.<br />
After reading that you haven't cut in 9 months, it gives me the strength to believe that I can go that far also. And then farther then that :D