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I Am 27

i haven't cut in about ten years, however i think about it a lot. i still get depressed, i just don't act on it. i don't do it because i work in service and i don't want to deal with peoples' questions, and i am married so there's no way to hide cuts. i was very tempted earlier today and was looking through the self harm tag on tumblr as a way of trying to get it out of my system. (i have a recovery blog there as well and sometimes it's good therapy to just look and reblog.) i found something called the butterfly project, which seems like the kind of distraction and message that works for someone like me. now i have three poorly drawn butterflies on my arm.

i don't even know why cutting is appealing. it might be because it was the first thing that worked for me to dull pain, back when i was a kid and didn't know about alcohol (to dull even more) or weed (which was the first thing that made me realize that life actually WAS worth living.)

sometimes i wish i could.
wolfswood wolfswood 26-30 Aug 17, 2012

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