Back In High School

I used to cut back in high school, my self worth was at an all time low. And I felt numb all the time. I was scared of blades so I used the sharp edge of a nail clipper. I would scratched my wrist and kept scratching in the same spot until it just started to bleed than I covered it in medical tape. I would wait for it to just start healing before I would do it again. The pain reminded me that I can feel that I wasn't going numb, that I was still human.
It went on like that for a while, one of my friends found out and asked me what happened I just told her that I tripped and fell on something in my uncles garage. She believed me and never asked again. I stopped when my parents found out but the way hey found out was horrible, my mom saw my old cut and sat me down. They grilled me about why I would do something like that. I told them while tears fell down my face, all they did was look at me while I told them why. I wanted one of them to hug me and tell me it'll be alright but they didn't, when we were done talking I went to my room and we never talked about it again.
A few weeks later I was hanging with a friend that I haven't seen in ages and she seen my scars and asked if I was okay and if I needed her help. I almost cried, here is a friend that I don't see all that often and she cared more than the friend I see everyday.
It's been five years since I've stopped cutting, the urge had been there a few times but I fought it off, it hasn't been easy but I did it.
JarredRay JarredRay
22-25, F
2 Responses Jan 23, 2013

well done! keep it up!! you're doing so well!

I am so glad that you stopped cutting. It is good to know that you are out of the depths of depression that must have weighed on you to act out in such a way. Great that you can fight off the urge.