We Called It Yams

or we called it fried chicken. I hated it. I loved it. I was naive, I didnt know what it was at first, I just knew that I couldnt stop. I havent smoked in 15 months, and when I last smoked I had been clean for over a year as well. But now I get the itch and I scare myself, things seem to link up, my relatives have just thrown a lot of money at me, too much. Its summer time and the days are hot and lazy and sometimes I want to blow my nights into oblivion and rip my pretty life to shreds in order to feel something. No one would ever suspect me as a fiend. I get bored, or I get sad and lonely and I want it, I want the anesthetic smoke sucked into quivering lungs and the empty sound of death hovering mosquito like about my head.
serpillian serpillian
22-25, F
1 Response May 11, 2007

I used to smoke crack too...I totally know what you mean...it's been 4 months to me and I've been doing good. But I think about the **** and it scares me. I get bored and anxious and especially when I have extra money I'm tempted. I try to remember what hell I've been through with that **** though so I'm doing my best to never smoke it again. The longer you go without it, the better off you are. Though it sucks that years later you still think about it. I guess that's the punishment for trying it in the first place.