Why Worry Everything Is F'd Up Already.

I saw a news cast today and one of the stories was about unemployment extension cancellation in California. I am currently unemployed and recently received a letter informing me of an automatic extension. I have been looking for work but after months of no luck I started trying to build a home business in art and design. The unemployment has given me the means to pay my bills and while I have had no luck on the job front I have had some success as an artist. In these troubled times my small success in the art community has been a serious blessing. I was an exemplary employee and ex co-workers have said that I was a victim of circumstance. There was this odd rule put into effect and I unknowingly broke it. I was told that if they hadn't had to let so many people go for the same reason just the week before that I would never have been let go. Still sucks for me. I chose to look at this as a positive time for change. When had I ever decided to work in that field anyway?

So what if I still worry? You can only lose so much before you start to say F it. What does it matter any way. I'm just going to give it up to god and see what happens. When I was fully in control and planning everything a glitch in the matrix F'd up my plans. Now, I have made it a point to quit planning everything. I had a great paying job, insurance, a great place in Laguna beach and in a few months that all went to ****. I lost my job/insurance and the lady who owned my house lost her job as well.

What did I learn? no one is safe from the glitches in life. Plan all you want because we are not in control. I used to worry so much more when I had it all figured out. Now, I don't know what's worthy of worry. I have no job, I moved back in with the parents, and I may have no unemployment to tide me over till I can get it back to good.

I'm over worrying about it. I don't care about such weighty things. Now I only sweat the small stuff like what package to use when I have to ship something I sold on ebay.
moonspun moonspun
26-30, F
3 Responses Dec 21, 2011

You speak for many people. Well said.

Yeah I definitely understand the feeling. What have you got to lose right? Eventually you reach that point where you just have to accept your circumstances and push forward. Although by pushing on and not caring like you now do, you are proving that God is not in control of your life or any other kind of fate for that matter. I think you were probably just presented with an obstacle and its still within your free will to decide how to deal with this obstacle. Perhaps fate is more like the challenges we are presented with. What you are doing now is truly inspiring and exciting, I hope all goes well for you.

I guess when I wrote god I just meant the universal circumstance. How odd is it that I had been working/saving up money to enter an art show and was only able to accomplish my goal when I had no job? I never gave myself enough credit. I didn't think I was a good artist. I worried about weather I could accomplish all the things I needed to in order to make a go at this art business. The "what have I got to lose" mentality has made things happen for me.

^_^ I'm glad.

Great post. I can relate to this .<br />
I have hit a rough patch as well.<br />
We have to learn to let things go & hope for the best.