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I Usually Get Paranoid About the Stupidest Things

So Stupid!

By: planx9
Written on March 17th, 2012
Whenever I get even the FAINTEST feeling that somebody dislikes me, I automatically stop talking to them. I just deleted somebody on here because I felt like I wasn't good enough to talk to them (since they have tons of friends they're always talking to to begin with, while I hardly have any). Now I look back on it and feel like an IDIOT, because I think they were genuinely trying to be my friend. People seldom try to be friends with me, and when they DO, I always try to push them away because I'm scared that they talk to me only because they would feel bad if they didn't.

I'm just really, really pissed at myself for deleting that person, since he/she was the only person that actually regularly talked to me on here. And even after all this, I still can't help but feel that they truly hated me this whole time. I don't need to be putting people through all of my paranoia, because I know it makes them mad. I'm just such an ugly, disgusting, stupid MORON for being so paranoid.
By: planx9
Age: 18-21
131 people have read this story

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3 responses
  • Rennn
    Rennn

    I do the same thing. I say something stupid, or just get a weird suspicion that someone doesn't like me for no reason, and I try to cut all ties with the person as soon as possible. For some reason it feels like I'm sparing the person, so they don't have to be subjected to me.

    After reading most of your stories, I know you're not disgusting, stupid, or anything else negative. You push people away to protect yourself, and because you feel inadequate, right? There's no shame in that. I understand why you distance yourself, and I'm sure a lot of other people understand as well. If it means anything, I don't think I've ever seen someone whose stories match my feelings and experiences so closely.

    Feb 8
    1 like
  • silili4
    silili4

    I have done the same severally and i regret blocking a particular person on here yet he/she was all for my good. He/she even wrote a story about it making me feel dumbest about. I no longer get there very inspiring talk and thats just a huge loss on my side. I just learnt never again to push away a well meaning person who are very rare to find. I hope you will get over it as am almost getting over it (:

    Mar 17, 2012
    1 like
  • flodials
    flodials

    Friendship shouldn't come at a cost. True friend are there when you need them and don't have expectations of what should come. Friends on here should understand that this is a place for exceptance. You are sharing your feelings and that in itself is giving trust to whoever you choose to allow in. There is nothing wrong with protecting yourself. That is a way of self preservation. You can always leave freinds on your list and not expect anything other than the name there for whenever you need or they need to talk. Good luck with your journey



    Cheers

    Mar 17, 2012
    1 like