I Want To Forgive Love And Accept Me

I know what i must do now,Richard I want to except,forgive and love you, for it is me who has hurt you and when i see you in my reflection I start to panic and run in the opposite direction. I will try to mind my ways until the end of my days for my soul has been lost in a haze for more than seconds,minutes and longer lost each and every day so this to my self i will say I forgive you and except me for what i am and no longer shake and shiver for it is the world who makes my soul quiver it is cold dark and a false illusion of light. I am sorry Richard for hurting you so bad please for give me I did not see what it is that mad me so sad it was me not them nor my mom or dad I alone hurt,trick and lie to you so bad I want to love you and someday I will its just I can not trust you,for you have shattered my will,but still i will not run or no longer hate me for I will surrender to my own fate I am so sorry and will let go of this sorrow and find a better tomorrow thank-you God for I am alive,I am sorry its just I have hurt people whenthey loved me or they tried I do not feel I deserve this second try i want to see those who care and have always been their,I am oblivious to all the love i recieve and cling to those who hurt lie and decieve I did not always believe now i do Jesus come heal me and and forgive me for all that I do I am begging you come in I know you have been knocking as of now the front door to my heart I am unlocking I want to give you my heart for it is in shambles and broke and my soul is lost Jesus please take my heart and cleanse my soul for I can not and have no self control and lack self structure I do not even know the days of the week by their names I have been beaten down only by self and have serverly damaged my health and comsumed by a sick hatred for my self I am tired of running from me but I can not do this alone, Jesus I need you and could use a being that likes my company for me and my thoughts not my devices and labor I feel i really need this send me a stranger I need help that I can see with my own eyes I am sorry for all the deciet and lies send me someone who cares that is like me and have my heart it is yours i do not want it and I can not give it away ever again please Jesus come in I need you but do not deserve you please forgive me again amen
Seventhirty457 Seventhirty457
31-35, M
1 Response May 5, 2012

That was so powdrful