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Broken Hearted

Hello, recently I found out that my husband of six years had an ongoing affair with his best friends wife! It started while I was eight months pregnant last year and he says that it has been over since july, But I find that hard to believe since we were always hangng out with them up until the time I found out! I am heart broken and don't know if I'll ever trust him again! Or anyone else for that matter, she was also supposedly one of my friends. The first time it happened in my house while I was upstairs asleep with my son and her husband was passed out on my couch! Then hey would sneak and meet up when they said they were going to the gym or to rent movies! I have two kids and so do they! The email chat log I found(how I found out) between them they kept telling eachother how much they loved the other, the words from that chat ring in my head over and over everyday! I keep wondering if I am a fool for staying or if he really deserves a second chance. I keep going back and forth with my feelings. Worst part of it all is that I have no family support! My dad told me it was all my fault and that I wasn't meeting my husbands needs and that I let myself go! When I turned on him for saying that, my mom and siblings topped contacting me as well! I don't know what to do, I feel so lost most days! I work out like crazy now, hardly ever eat and read or do anything i can to keep my mind off of it!
sarahgarl84 sarahgarl84 26-30 4 Responses May 10, 2012

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He is dirty...in your house. No love for you, sorry to tell you my dear. See people for who they are by their actions not their words. Get your self togrther, mentally, emotionally, financially and then leave his ***. He will do it again. If after you leave he does make amends with real change and accountability if you still love him, perhaps you give him another chnace. Ebery woman that is cheated on by a husband must leave or else you are sending a mesage that you are willing to accept that behaviour. You have to let your husband know that even if you have no one in this world, you have yourself and you are worth more than being in a marriage that does not love and support you. As for your family, awful of them to not support you, especially in your time of need. You have you, the one and only person who can do for you, so take care of you and worry about others later. It is hard, but time and determination to not be used and abused will get you through. When you are strong and centered and doing beautifully people will be drawn to you, even those who wronged you and you will be able to choose whether they deserve to be in your life or not. Love yourself, love your children above all others, especially a no good husband who not only betrayed you, but his two children as well. Do you reaaly want to hurt and cry for a long time over his trashy choices, he should be crying and in pain not you. I bet he is going on , eating, drinking and laughing right?

I know you're hurt and feel alone. Know that you can't change what have been done or who they are or what they feel or think but you have the power of making your own choice.You will be ok. Don't be afraid.You want your children to be a loving individuals with good values in their lives so protect them by not letting those that hurt you by betray you or step on you when you're down. Children learn from their surrounding. Give them love, encouragement, support and trust like you wanted for yourself. You have control over the environment that you want to give your children. They love you. It will be hard but it can be over come and exceed your expectation. I was there where you were not too long ago and my seven years old son is autistic. You are strong like your love for your children. Your children will be your support and love. Give them as you would give yourself those things your heart desires. You will survive and come out better than what you were. Live and love.

love and support for ur kids is good, but this cannot be a substitute for ur love for their father or for the love U NEED and DESIRE, which is best from the father of ur kids as in REALITY U SHARE A PAST AND PRESENT WITH UR KIDS, Forgive the affair and make today better for u and ur kids and their father

Hmm its not your fault if your husband truly loved you then there would have been no need for cheating...

Your dad is wrong, its not your fault! If he loved you then no matter what, he would not do that to you OR your children full stop.. <br />
Ive been there myself and felt the same as you but i did have family support. i blamed myself for a long time but i haf never behaved any differant as the day we met. well except id grown up a lot with having two young children to look after, whilst he was having affairs. after the fourth affair he said that it would never happen again. he asked me to marry him and like a idiot, i thought he must mean it coz he wants to marry me,so i said yes. we had bought everything together, the rings had i love you around them, i was so excited.. two weeks before he went to new zealand and married another woman. <br />
the only thing we did wrong was fall in love with the wrong person but we both have lovely children and that aint wrong..:) <br />
im happily married now to a lovely man who is right for me. never had an argument in the five years weve been together, now this has to be right.. :)<br />
Chin up, mr right will be out there looking for you. :)

ur dad is right and please read DR LAURA , The care and feeding of husbands.............U will get ur answers. A man needs physical love and caring, or he will go else where to get his biological needs met.......God bless