Unhappily Ever After..I've just come out of a five year relationship and I chose to end it myself recently & for good. I have tried to end it many times before, but because of my deepest love for this person I couldn't. And as unhappy as I was becoming, I stuck with it because of my true love for him.
I was going through so much hurt and it was painful. My personality was changing and I started to hate myself, thinking that I was at fault for all his mistakes he had made in our relationship. All I wanted was him in my life and nothing was ever going to make me think otherwise. I often thought of him as my knight and shining armor and that he was going to whisk me away and we'll get to live happily ever after. Well, so I thought..
I can't believe I waited this long for him and hoped that one day soon we will finally live together as a couple and get on with our lives (we lived apart becos we both care-givers for each member of our family) I was committed to him and helped him in every way possible. I cared for him when he was sick, I made myself available to go with him to any appointments he had made, I went along to support him in family functions and when my family invited me to spend christmas time with them, I always declined becos I wanted to be with him & his family. I was there..I was there..I was there!
Even my own children complained becos I chose him & his family over my own. I did it, because I wanted to show him how much he meant to me and how much I was in love with him! But, these last few months have been the pits for me. And I've had it with his mindgame tatics & his egotist ways. I've even expressed to him of how i was feeling and even cried out in desperation for him to stop doing the things he was doing to me! But, as usual it fell on deaf ears. I was extremely let down, but then on the other hand I know now where I stand. Hence the reason I left..LOVE does strange things to people, but it's the LUST that is truly evil, but LIFE goes on & I hope it will be for the better :) He won't find out what he has truly lost until it too late.
Gosh, thank goodness that's off my mind..Thanx EP :)
MoonLightLover 41-45, F 3 Responses 3 Aug 1, 2012