Betrayed By My Boyfriend

Last Thursday my boyfriend was sitting next to me and he was going through his phone. I noticed this one name Britni kept popping up in his phone. Mind you this was his ex girlfriend. Let me say one thing first; I am not a suspicious person and I always give people the benefit of the doubt. I trust completely and I love with my whole heart. So when I saw that, something rubbed me the wrong way. I am a very forward person, so I asked him about it. Well he proceeds to tell me that he works with her and has had some work related questions. I told him he never told me they worked together and he said yes he did. Well, then he proceeded to tell me she moved about a month ago. So I asked what business he would have continuing to call her if they were no longer working together. He said he just had some other work questions. Then our conversation was over and it still was not sitting right with me. Also, let me tell you that I am currently 5 and 1/2 months pregnant with our child.

So the next morning he went to take a shower to go to work and I decided to look in his phone. Well, there they were, 700 and something texts between them. They ranged from him saying he hated his life, and how much he loved her, and wanted to be with her, and that he should have never let her out of his life. There was so much said that I can't even remember all of it. All I saw was red, and I got sick to my stomach. Well, I gathered myself and walked into the bathroom and confronted him. He proceeded to tell me he has been unhappy for like a month. I asked him why he would do this to me. I have been so good to him and I felt our relationship was incredibly strong. I was so betrayed. Well, after all was said and done, I of course started crying hysterically and all he did was stand their and listen to me. As the morning went on he called me and said he wanted to be with me and that she meant nothing. I asked how long they had been talking and he said only like a month. Then I asked if they had been been together physically since we had been together and he of course said no. So he kept texting me and saying how sorry he was and he really screwed up. Then he came home and asked what I wanted. I asked for his phone and that I wanted to call her. He asked why I needed to do that and cant I do it from my phone. I said no because I know she would answer his phone call. So I called her and she picked up. I told her I am sure she knows why I am calling because I am calling from his phone. She said she was completely aware of who I was. I told her that she owes this to me to be honest. I asked how long they had been talking and she said off and on since they started working together. Mind you this was back in October of last year. I told her to stop lying because I have seen the text and I know it is all the time. Then I asked if she wanted to be with him and she said she had strong feeling for him and yes she would like that. Then I asked her if they had been physical and she told me to ask him. I told her just be honest and then she said yes they had more then once. Then I asked him again while she was on the phone and he still said no. Well, then she started to turn this around on me by saying if I didn't trust him I shouldn't be with him. Then I asked if she knew I was pregnant and she said yes but she did not know at first. There was a whole lot more said and I hung up on her.

So my boyfriend proceeded to say he was leaving and he was done. That he knew she was going to say all that because that has been her plan the whole time to break us up. Then he told me I should just move on and take care of this baby. I told him it is so sad that it is that easy for him to leave. That he is a coward and he is cruel. That honestly, he was not necessarily lying to me, that he was deceiving me and that is almost worse then anything else he could do. I just did not understand why he would do that. I also told him he was cheating on me and he disagreed. I asked what he was looking for with her and he said friendship. The bad thing in all this, is that from the time we started dating and the people that have known her have told me she was an awful person. She was mean, controlling, and just a bad person. Well, I do believe that because she proved it to me by being aware of him and I dating for starters and then to know we are having a baby and still was pursuing him. I fault both of them. His behavior was appalling and disgusting.

Well after everything was all said and done he did not leave and we talked for hours. I am a very rational person, so not once did I call him a bad name or yell and scream. I just cried a lot. He continuously apologized for his behavior and said if I will let him, that he will prove to me that he will never do this again and that he will work hard to get my trust back. So over the course of these last few days I have cried a lot, prayed a lot, and reflected a lot on this whole situation. He deleted her number from his phone. I told him if he wants to prove anything to me that he needs to show me proof he is done with her. He said he does not want anymore contact with her. So I said, if she contacts him for any reason that he better tell me, and if he does not then I will leave and never look back. I have never been hurt by anyone like this, and even though I know in my heart due to him lying so much when I called him out on it all, that he was physical with her and that their relationship has been longer then a month. But I feel that I owe it to our baby and for my own sanity to try to have a forgiving heart. My stomach is in a knot all day and yet I find that when he tells me he loves me that I melt. I am not a weak person, but a forgiving person. I will never forget what he has done, and what he jeopardized but I will try. I hope that I can get past this one day. It will be a one day at a time process but over time the wound will heal (I hope). I do not know if staying is the right choice because I now doubt him completely, but I will try!
ellen1047 ellen1047
31-35, F
2 Responses Jan 15, 2013

Let me first say that I am sorry. You went through this. My heart really goes out to you ma'am.
I hope all goes well for you and the baby.

It is very hard to trust a person who betrayed you once again. I hope everything will work out for you.