Trying To Make Sense Of My Life.

Where to begin? If I start at the beginning the story would be too long.
I'll start in the middle, I divorced my husband of 20 years after he started doing crack again, We had already been down that road together about 10 years before I divorced him and we were both addicted for about 2 years, we had already sold all of our stuff and had borrowed all we could borrow and had no more lies to tell anyone to get more money to buy our next hit with and the little bit we got from the dealers that came to our house to cut up and bag their product wasn't enough, so I thank God now that 7 men in ski masks broke into our home and held a gun to the back of my head and pistol whipped my husband and told us both that I was going to die if my husband didn't tell them where the drugs were, but of course we didn't have any because all the dealers did was cut it up and bag it in our house they didn't leave any so I accepted that I was about to die but my husband cried and begged them not to kill me and offered his own life and they finally believed him I guess and knocked him out and tore out all the telephone wires and left. After I waited the 15 minutes that they said to wait I crawled on the floor and got an extra phone wire that I had and called my mom who was 500 miles away and said Mom I'm going to die if you don't come and get us. She was on her way in 1 hour and was there the next day. I told my husband that's it no more, if you still want to do crack you stay here but he promised he would never touch it again, that seeing me with a gun to my head was enough to convince him but 10 years later right after hurricane Katrina he decided to do it again and that was when I said enough and left and divorced him and ended up with a much younger man who is now in prison. The decisions that I make always end up being so wrong. I am just so sad and so tired. I have no one I can talk to about this and I am totally alone.
CoastalMississippi CoastalMississippi
41-45, F
1 Response Jan 16, 2013

your life, your decisions.
what U do after this,"life lesson" is up to U.
good luck and God Bless.