What I Really Thought Was A Lye

HI I'M ANDRÈA. THIS DAY WAS THE BEST THEN BECAME THE WORSE...SO MY MOM WANTED A CAR... SO WE WENT TO THE DEALERSHIP..AND THE HONDA CAR SALESMAN HELP US GET A 2011 HONDA PILOT.... LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT FOR ME. WEEKS BEFORE THAT I ASKED GODD TO SEND ME A GOOD MAHN THAT'S WILLING TO TAKE CARE OF ME.. SO I THOUGHT WE'LL MAYBE IT'S HIM.. HE WAS JUST MY TYPE TO... ABOUT A MONTH INTO OUR RELATIONSHIP.. WE GOT INTIMATE... SEX EVERYDAY.. ROMANCE.. HE MET MY WHOLE FAMILY THEY LOVED HIM.. HE LOVED THEM TO.. I ASKED HIM IF HE WAS MARRIED AND HE SAID < NO > :"(... SO I BELEAVED HIM.. SO WE CONTINUED ON... I ALWAYS WANTED TO MEET HIS SON HIS DAD GO TO HIS HOUSE BUT HE ALWAYS SAID I'M NOT READY FOR YOU TO MEET THEM. HE SAYS "" I WANT EVERYTHING TO BE PERFECT... PERFECT TIME PERFECT WAY""... I BELIEVED HIM :"(... FEW MONTHS LATER HE TOLD ME HE WAS FALLING IN DEEP LOVE WITH ME AND HE HAS TO TELL ME THE TRUTH... HE SAYS "" I HAVE A FRIEND STAYING WITH ME SHE HAS CANCER IN HER KNEE AND THAT'S WHY I HAVEN'T BROUGHT YOU OVER TO THE HOUSE BECAUSE I DON'T WANT YOU FEELING UNCOMFORTABLE... I BELIEVED HIM.. I WAS ALSO VERY HURT AND ANGRY THAT HE LIED TO ME... HE ASKED ME THAT DAY HE TOLD ME HE SAID ""YOUR NOT THAT HURT ARE YOU SINCE I TOLD YOU THAT"". I SAID NO... BUT REALLY I WAS SO HURT I COULDN'T BREATH I WANTED TO KILL MYSELF.. && AS I WRITE THIS I CRY REPEATEDLY.. I SAID NO BECAUSE I WAS BEING UNDERSTANDING... I CRYED DAYS AFTER THAT BECAUSE I TRUSTED HIM:"(.. HE TOLD ME STAY BY HIS SIDE TILL HER CHEMO WAS OVER AND SHE WAS GONE... SO I DID.... FEWS MONTHE'S AFTER THAT I GOT PREGANT.... I WAS SO HAPPY :").. HE MADE ME HAVE AN ABORTION HE SAID BECAUSE I WAS TO YOU FOR A BABY AND I NEEDED TO GO TO SCHOOL FIRST... I BEGGED HIM NOT TO MAKE ME.. BUT HE SAID IF I HAD THE BABY HE WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO RAISE IT FINANCIALLY... << I WAS SO CONFUSED.. HURT... MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY DAMAGED... I WAS LOST.. I WANTED TO DYE... I WAS DEPRESSED.. I CRIED SO MUCH ENOUGH TO CAUSE A FLOOD>>... I QUESTIONED HIM EVERYDAY FOR MONTHS AFTER THAT... AND MONTHES LATER HE SAT ME DOWN... AND TOLD "" WESA I LOVE YOU TO DEATH:")... YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME.. I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU I LOVE YOU FAMILY.. I CARE ABOUT YOU SO MUCH"".. HE SAID. ""I HAVE SOMETHING TO GET OFF MY BACK.... I'M LEGALLY GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE.. ""FIRST THING I THOUGHT WAS ""NO YOUR LEGALLY MARRIED COMMITTING ADULTRY.. YOU LIED TO ME FROM THE BEGINNING ABOUT EVERYTHING.""... THEN HE TOLD ME. HE SAID "" I'M SORRY I DIDN'T TELL YOU I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO HURT YOU AND DEFINITELY DIDN'T WANT TO LOOSE YOU... :"( :"( :"(..."" HE SAID ""I WANT YOU NOT TO RUN AWAY. I WANT YOU TO STAY WITH ME UNTIL IT'S ALL OVER. SINCE WE CAN BE HAPPY... SO I STAYED BECAUSE I LOVED HIM I BELIEVED HIM... BUT EVERYDAY DAY AFTER THAT I PICKED ON HIM MADESIGN HIM FEEL BAD FOR LYING.. I CRIED LOOKED FOR ANSWERS... AND THAT'S BECAUSE EVERYTHING HE TOLD ME IN THE PAST DIDN'T ADD UP TILL THIS DAY... SO I TRIED FIGURING IT OUT.. BECAUSE IF I ASKED HIM HE WOULD SIMPLY LYE AGAIN.. HE SAID HE DID IT TO PROTECT ME AND TO MAKE SURE I WOULDN'T LEAVE HIM.... OH HOW HURT AND CONFUSED I WAS AND STILL AM.. ONE REASON IS BECAUSE WE RECENTLY ENDED... BECAUSE HE'S WIFE CALLED ME.. AND I WAS SHOCKED. I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS... I TOLD HER A FEW ANSWERS TO HER QUESTIONS...MY LOVE MY SUN MY HEART MY FUTURE MY FIRST DECEIVED ME BETRAYED ME HURT ME. :"( :"(... OUT OF PROTECTION HE SAYS... HE TOLD ME SHE WANTED HALF IS **** AFTER THE DIVORCE.. SO SHE WAS TRYING TO GET EVIDENCE FROM ME.. I GUESS I KINDA GAVE TO HER.. AFTER HE SAID DON'T TALK TO HER DON'T CALL OR HER.. BUT I WAS JUST SO CONFUSED AND HURT.. I JUST WANTED ANSWERS MYSELF :"(.. AND I FEEL HORRIBLE.. BAD UPSET.. REGRETFUL.. AND NOW I FEEL IT'S MY FAULT AND WHY WE CAN'T BE TOGETHER LIKE WE PLANNED.. I FEEL LIKE A YEAR WENT TO WASTE... HE TOLD ME THAT IS WHY I COULDN'T HAVE THE BABY BECAUSE IF ANYONE FOUND OUT SHE WOULD AUTO MAGICALLY GET HALF OF EVERYTHING AND HE DIDN'T WANT TO BRING A BABY IN THIS WORLD WITH ALL HIS DRAMA... I GUESS I UNDERSTOOD... && THE SAD PART IS THEY WERE GETTING A DIVORCE IN THE FIRST PLACE BECAUSE SHE CHEATED. I CHOSE TO STAY AND I ACCEPTED EVERYTHING. :"( :"(.. BUT ALL OF THIS HAD MADE ME... STRONGER... EXPERIENCED... BETTER AS A PERSON.. I FEEL I WAS FOR HIM.. ALTHOUGH I AM 20 && HE'S 35... WHAT I DID WAS WRONG BUT I FELT LIKE I WAS HELPING ME AND HIM.. BUT I WASN'T.. YEAH HE LIED ABOUT HIS AGE AND BEING MARRIED BUT I FORGIVE HIM TRULY AND DEARLY... BECAUSE I LOVED HIM AND STILL DO... I JUST NEED TIME AND I'LL BE OKAY.. I LOVE HIM AND MISS HIM MUCH:"(.. THANKS FOR READING.. IT MEANS ALL-OUT A LOT:-) """" ♡♥