Sense Of A Higher Power

haven't been on here in a long time...i don't even know where to start.
the past couple of years i started dabbling in the drug pool again, last summer it was painkillers and blow...this year painkillers and mdma, lots of mdma.
i developed this group of friends and we'd just party non of lately, i had an experience with some **** that mdma and acid combined. can anyone tell me more about it?
i'm a little anxious of the fact that i did it, because i have an issue with anxiety, mostly the fear that i could go crazy ya know. i had to quit smoking pot two years ago because of terrifying episodes i would have...although again, this summer, i burned a few times...and for all but one night it was awesome haha.
but yeah this md/acid stuff...i was drunk, had just got back to my buddies house from the bar, and a friend of a friend brings this **** out. with my intuition out the window, i did a rail and immediately felt the sense of something strong come over me. i want to say it felt like a peak, but i can't be sure what that was, it was like every emotion known to man kind, and some, had flown through me. after a few things happened, like going out to the garage with friends for smokes, and going to the bathroom, which i very vaguely remember...i ended up lying on the grass of the front lawn basking in the beauty of everything around me. it was dark out, but waves of neon reflective light bounced off every surface turning the dark into the most beautiful day i've ever seen. my other three friends that had dabbled in this experience with me, i could hear running around me yelling "we're going to die, this isn't good, this is ******" and usually my anxiety would snap into motion and i'd be dragged down into a psychedelic hell with them, but i was rolling so hard into it and i couldn't get out, it was amazing. it was raining on me, and every drop of rain that hit my body, connected to some kind of "special" nerve in my body, triggering alllllll other nerves and i felt like i could've climaxed right there on the lawn. it was like i was making love to life, right there infront of my buddy's house, i could feel the **** of a greater power inside of me, pumping on top of me, kissing me, making me feel...something i still can't explain. we ended up back inside after a while, and it continued on while lying on the floor in the living room...i remember, again, my buddies who were also tripping yelling things around me, negative things, not liking what they were feeling, and i'm just waving my 10 ringed fingers in the air, watching a thousand ringed fingers wave back at me. 
alas, like with any high, i began to come down...everything was still groovy and beautiful, but i got back in touch with reality and i began to realize what had just happened...and my anixety kicked in a little. i didn't start to have a bad trip or anything, but i did start to feel restless, and annoyed...i didn't sleep until about 4 in the afternoon the next day, after raling at around 3 in the morning...this past week since the trip, has felt oddly different. i feel a sense of something around me, even in my voice, the way i speak, i feel different. regardless of the anxiety i feel for doing this drug, i feel so greatfull the universe kept me safe and gave me that absalutely mindblowing experience...
has anyone out there had similar? please comment i'd love to hear feedback...
freakyyystyley freakyyystyley
18-21, F
1 Response Sep 15, 2010

That sounds like everything I would ever want to happen to me on a trip