YesI desperately want to feel needed so i have been friends with someone for a couple of years now because she needs me. I met her while i made a brief stay in a mental hospital, she was a patient there as well. We became friends and when she got out we became something more than friends. I didn't want to call her my girlfriend because i knew that eventually she would want to move on to someone closer to her own age. She is about 20 years younger than i am. I have over the last couple of years developed some very strong feelings for this girl but avoided those feelings for a couple of reasons. First problem is that she is still dealing with her own problems. She has been in and out of mental hospitals since i met her. The second reason is because as i mentioned earlier i was convinced she would eventually move on to someone her own age. I was visiting her the other day and she threw a question my way that left me a bit speechless. She asked if i would ever consider marrying someone as young as her. I didn't know what to say at first, honestly i thought she might have been teasing me but she was serious. So i told her that right now i didn't think that was a good idea as i have issues with trust right now and besides i didn't think i could make her happy. She then told me that the happiest moments of her life are the days that i come to visit her and she told me she couldn't imagine life without me. She also told me i am one of two people in the world she trusts completely (the other is her grandmother). So i've been looking at how i feel about her and i've come to the conclusion that.......i love this girl......but i don't think i would be good for her. I truly believe she can do much better and i hope for her sake that she does, but at the same time i'm afraid if i flat out reject her she may lose the ability to trust anyone......and believe me that is a terrible place to be as a person. She really is a great person and a beautiful girl and much too good for me.
UPDATE: About one year ago i broke up with this girl. She had been in an institute for over a year at the time and i simply could not wait any longer for her to gain control of her mental state. I have remained friends with her and will always be her friend but have moved on in my romantic life. I have another girlfriend this one much closer to my own age.
ihaveanameitsrick 46-50, M 15 Responses 2 Dec 6, 2010