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I desperately want to feel needed so i have been friends with someone for a couple of years now because she needs me. I met her while i made a brief stay in a mental hospital, she was a patient there as well. We became friends and when she got out we became something more than friends. I didn't want to call her my girlfriend because i knew that eventually she would want to move on to someone closer to her own age. She is about 20 years younger than i am. I have over the last couple of years developed some very strong feelings for this girl but avoided those feelings for a couple of reasons. First problem is that she is still dealing with her own problems. She has been in and out of mental hospitals since i met her. The second reason is because as i mentioned earlier i was convinced she would eventually move on to someone her own age. I was visiting her the other day and she threw a question my way that left me a bit speechless. She asked if i would ever consider marrying someone as young as her. I didn't know what to say at first, honestly i thought she might have been teasing me but she was serious. So i told her that right now i didn't think that was a good idea as i have issues with trust right now and besides i didn't think i could make her happy. She then told me that the happiest moments of her life are the days that i come to visit her and she told me she couldn't imagine life without me. She also told me i am one of two people in the world she trusts completely (the other is her grandmother). So i've been looking at how i feel about her and i've come to the conclusion that.......i love this girl......but i don't think i would be good for her. I truly believe she can do much better and i hope for her sake that she does, but at the same time i'm afraid if i flat out reject her she may lose the ability to trust anyone......and believe me that is a terrible place to be as a person. She really is a great person and a beautiful girl and much too good for me.


UPDATE: About one year ago i broke up with this girl. She had been in an institute for over a year at the time and i simply could not wait any longer for her to gain control of her mental state. I have remained friends with her and will always be her friend but have moved on in my romantic life. I have another girlfriend this one much closer to my own age.
ihaveanameitsrick ihaveanameitsrick 46-50, M 15 Responses Dec 6, 2010

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i'm so late for the answear...but i have to write cus i'm on the opposite of you ...i think i fell in love with 20 yrs older man(in his head he's like teenager). i'm afraid to ask him about feelings cus at the begining of our hanging we meant a deal. but he always keeps calling me for 3 months already..i'd like to know if its only for "thatstuff" or there's really something that he likes my company.. for my part being around him makes me really happy...<br />
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hope you're ok now with that girl, since theres almost 2 years now...

I actually broke up with her last year. I simply could not wait for her to get her life under control any longer. I will remain her friend as long as she desires.

Rick, do what your mind tells you. Remember it is intelligence over emotions I/E

Rick I know i havent been on here or talked to you in a very long time. Do not cut yourself short. You have a lot to offer this girl and she knows it. Things dont always move fast. Some of the best relationships take time to become something great.

Haha, I just assumed that you shared the same views/interests from how you described everything :P<br />
Unless the Republicans can come up with a strong, centrist candidate, Obama will most likely get a second term. Problem is they are moving further to the right and still playing to their ba<x>se. They need to be a more accessible party and produce people like McCain again. I mean like the McCain pre-election, before he got worried about losing his seat to a more right-leaning candidate in the Arizona primaries. He was actually a Republican I could live with.

Really? So American still likes him. Interesting. Well. I wish the American the best. I hope this time he can fix things.

Obama isn't going any where....as a matter of fact i think he will likely be re elected in 2012

Well. I think Obama is stepping down because he can't fix the crisis in the U.S. I'm glad you find a girlfriend. Hell. You were a lone for a long time. Cherish every moment with her.

oh come on Fallacies you don't even know her how could you wish a conservative jerk like me on her LOL its funny she used to be very liberal and a HUGE Obama supporter but she has changed her mind about him and the liberals in our Congress have her so mad she wants to go back and change her vote LOL

Go for it, bud. You deserve something like this. She does, too.

No emerald and ptman i have no intention of rejecting her....i can't! For my own selfish reasons i'm going to hold on to her as long as i can. I do love her and i will do almost anything for her.<br />
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Pedro we have been dating for some time now off and on (twice when she was in hospital she broke up with me) this last time she has been in the hospital for nearly a year and we have stayed together, i visit her at least once everytime i'm home from work (i would see her everyday but its an hour drive from my house) when she gets out her and i are going on a vacation together this will be the first time we spend more than a few days together. Unfortunately we don't yet know when she will be getting out of there

Who isn't dealing with their own problems, if you wait for everyones problems to dissapear, you will<br />
be an old man! - Do you have to discuss marriage right away? Why can't you just take it to the next logical level and date to see if it would even work.. None of us know what will work ahead of time, we all have to take chances on our futures :)

i totally agree with Emerald, give it a chance see how it pans out for both of you. don't run away from here because of your own fears.

CAn I be blunt here, Rick?? YOu can delete later if you want. But I think you are playing a self-destruction game with yourself. You are about to reject her, and ... WHY? YOu say for her benifit. Is it? Or is it to protect You from rejection or failure if this thing goes amuck. Also, YOU, Rickypoo, might be the best thing for her because You KNOW what she has been through and how she feels. YOu've shared a similar situation or at least the emotions in your situations. Perhaps ya'll are meant to heal each other, or at least support each other. I won't say that yes, you two are meant to be, cause that might not be so, but you might wanna contemplate givin it a chance. At least take it slow and see if it grows. ;)

thanks hj......funny its not me i'm worried about this time its her

accept love in all its forms. the outside doesn't matter. neither age, nor flesh, nor blood matters. it's the connection that counts. don't let others tell you what is right. follow your heart, not your thoughts. we often don't know what we are thinking, but we always know how we feel when it comes to the one we love. give love a try. the worst that could happen is you will find each other.