I Wanna Know What's the Worst Way to Break Up
It was the Summer of '11 and I landed a job for summer employment. I worked on fields and did landscaping. Shoveling, Raking, and Wheelbarrowing dirt. It was good decent pay. A good start to my dreams, to leave home and make something for myself and my girl. I was in love with a girl that was the world to me. I was going out with this girl that I met in school, we'd been dating for a while and things were good before we broke up but something happened.
My job was hard on my body and we got into a small fight about me not wanting to come sleep over at her mom's house with her for the weekend. I didn't want to because I was sore and tired. We argued and argued and we settled it how we normally did. We had sex. I didn't even bother to get her home that night, I don't even remember why I didn't but it was my undoing. I kissed her and we said our goodbyes and then she got on her bus. I didn't go see her that weekend because I was still a little mad about Friday but we talked and texted still. It didn't seem like anything was wrong and everything would be fine when Monday came around. I relaxed the whole weekend. Then Monday came and it was time for me to work again but me and my girlfriend had become distant. I was going to to see her after work. Then I got a phone call from her when I was on break. She was asking for a break. I agreed. Just a couple of days apart from each other, you know. Just to let go of some stress. I figured nothing was up but I felt a little mad. We didn't talk for a couple days, I didn't take her calls. She wanted a break and I figured it would be okay. I had voice messages but I didn't check them. It was the hottest day in the Summer and I had to work outside, I shoveled hard, I worked hard. I was working towards a future I wouldn't have. Then I got a text, it read "It's over". It ended over a text but I didn't believe it. I went go see her after work. She got mad at me. She looked at me with hatred in her eyes, "Why would she hate me?" I thought this girl loved me. I wanted to know why but she wouldn't tell me and then I asked if we were really over and she said yes. So I went home. I collected some of her things, our things and I brought them to the river. I was angry. I rode onto the bridge and cast them into the river. Blankets and a sweater, memories we had together to be carried away by the currents. When the weekend came I checked my voice mail, she left three. I heard her voice. Each one sounded different, in the first one she was hurt. In the second she sounded normal and said she would give me my time. In the last message she was angry and she left a final warning to me. "Lane, if you don't come around something might happen and we might not be together anymore". It hit me. I should've listened. I learned that she had been seeing some other guy before we broke up, her 9 year old brother told me one day. For the rest of the summer I would try and make it up to her. Pebbles at her window in the morning, at night. Everytime her new guy would mess up she would let me get closer. She dragged me on for months, she had said so much to me. She promised me to come back, she never did. She said "I love you" still, it was beginning to take a toll on me. I started losing it. I started using drugs and alcohol, I wanted to forget, I wanted to numb the pain because it hurt so much. I hurt myself and tried killing myself once. My life was starting to spiral out of control and I was going deeper and deeper into depression. I felt like there was no way out and that I was trapped. I ran away from home one night, I hitchhiked. I had to get away. It was a bad time for me.
Now here we are months later, it is April 3rd. I came back home sometime before November. I don't hurt myself anymore. I've cleaned up and don't use drugs anymore, I don't abuse alcohol anymore either. I'm still trying to get my life together in the aftermath. I work out 3 days a week at the gym and try to lead a healthy lifestyle. I'm looking for a job now so I can move out of my parents. I'm pretty optimistic about the future now. I don't talk with my ex anymore. She still tries to talk to me sometimes. I miss her sometimes and think about the good times but she isn't the same person that I loved before. I'm glad the break up happened because I learned a lot of things out of it. Things I wouldn't have learned if it didn't happen. I met new people, new places. I've become a lot stronger than I was before and I'm damn proud of myself. But I still haven't found what I'm looking for, maybe some day.
My job was hard on my body and we got into a small fight about me not wanting to come sleep over at her mom's house with her for the weekend. I didn't want to because I was sore and tired. We argued and argued and we settled it how we normally did. We had sex. I didn't even bother to get her home that night, I don't even remember why I didn't but it was my undoing. I kissed her and we said our goodbyes and then she got on her bus. I didn't go see her that weekend because I was still a little mad about Friday but we talked and texted still. It didn't seem like anything was wrong and everything would be fine when Monday came around. I relaxed the whole weekend. Then Monday came and it was time for me to work again but me and my girlfriend had become distant. I was going to to see her after work. Then I got a phone call from her when I was on break. She was asking for a break. I agreed. Just a couple of days apart from each other, you know. Just to let go of some stress. I figured nothing was up but I felt a little mad. We didn't talk for a couple days, I didn't take her calls. She wanted a break and I figured it would be okay. I had voice messages but I didn't check them. It was the hottest day in the Summer and I had to work outside, I shoveled hard, I worked hard. I was working towards a future I wouldn't have. Then I got a text, it read "It's over". It ended over a text but I didn't believe it. I went go see her after work. She got mad at me. She looked at me with hatred in her eyes, "Why would she hate me?" I thought this girl loved me. I wanted to know why but she wouldn't tell me and then I asked if we were really over and she said yes. So I went home. I collected some of her things, our things and I brought them to the river. I was angry. I rode onto the bridge and cast them into the river. Blankets and a sweater, memories we had together to be carried away by the currents. When the weekend came I checked my voice mail, she left three. I heard her voice. Each one sounded different, in the first one she was hurt. In the second she sounded normal and said she would give me my time. In the last message she was angry and she left a final warning to me. "Lane, if you don't come around something might happen and we might not be together anymore". It hit me. I should've listened. I learned that she had been seeing some other guy before we broke up, her 9 year old brother told me one day. For the rest of the summer I would try and make it up to her. Pebbles at her window in the morning, at night. Everytime her new guy would mess up she would let me get closer. She dragged me on for months, she had said so much to me. She promised me to come back, she never did. She said "I love you" still, it was beginning to take a toll on me. I started losing it. I started using drugs and alcohol, I wanted to forget, I wanted to numb the pain because it hurt so much. I hurt myself and tried killing myself once. My life was starting to spiral out of control and I was going deeper and deeper into depression. I felt like there was no way out and that I was trapped. I ran away from home one night, I hitchhiked. I had to get away. It was a bad time for me.
Now here we are months later, it is April 3rd. I came back home sometime before November. I don't hurt myself anymore. I've cleaned up and don't use drugs anymore, I don't abuse alcohol anymore either. I'm still trying to get my life together in the aftermath. I work out 3 days a week at the gym and try to lead a healthy lifestyle. I'm looking for a job now so I can move out of my parents. I'm pretty optimistic about the future now. I don't talk with my ex anymore. She still tries to talk to me sometimes. I miss her sometimes and think about the good times but she isn't the same person that I loved before. I'm glad the break up happened because I learned a lot of things out of it. Things I wouldn't have learned if it didn't happen. I met new people, new places. I've become a lot stronger than I was before and I'm damn proud of myself. But I still haven't found what I'm looking for, maybe some day.
By:
Orchards
Age:
18-21
,
Male
