The Marriage Game

I am an adult and recently broke up with an ex BF. We had been dating 2 years and 8 months. For our entire relationship my ex BF claimed he wanted to marry ME and have kids "soon". But about 2 months before I decided to talk about breaking up I confronted him about when we were going to finally get engaged since we are both over age 30 now. I discovered he has irrational fears about our future together and was clearly scared of making a real commitment. He was really just too immature and mentally messed up to ever make such a big commitment. I told him either we get engaged really soon or I wouldn't want this relationship to continue.
Well 2 months later I finally had enough. I hadn't been feeling well for a while and so I wasn't seeing him in person anymore. But he would call me every day or every other day and I was so sick of having a phone only relationship with him. So after discuss the issue with his best friend's wife (whom has become one of my good friends) I confronted him on the phone about where this relationship is going. I started off by saying that I was thinking about coming over to his house to collect my things (didn't live together but I had some clothes and such at his house). Then he very flatly asked "why?"
I then explained that I wasn't happy and wanted to know where this relationship is going. And that he needs to at least give me a realistic time table as to when he feels he will be ready for marriage (since he had been claiming all along that he wanted to marry me soon).

Then I stopped talking to hear what his thoughts were. What disturbed and shocked me is that instead of even addressing the whole 'marriage issue' he went off about small little arguments and then started accusing me of being 'controlling' without actually giving any examples. Then he said, without any emotion, 'yes you should come get your things'. I was heartbroken. But I said ok and goodbye and hung up.

He then had more than an hour to think about everything as I drove to his house. I showed up at his house and decided I wouldn't try to talk about anything unless he started talking first. He acted pleasant and in a rush to get me out of his house! He didn't look upset or hurt at all. He just helped me gather my things quickly and put them in my car.

What bothers me the most is that I was dating a man for so long, that in the end, seemed like he had wanted it over for a while but was too wimpy to suggest it himself! I have not spoken to him since that day about 3 months ago.
3 Responses Nov 30, 2012

You had chance to leave him - enjoy your new possibilities, new realtions... and learn my dear

hi helo iam man nayeem iam intersted in your realationship me u ok iam fron hyderabad . 32. age. ok bybyby

You obviously didn't care enough about him if youd scratch him out of your life for something stupid like that. Why would you wanna get married?