*raising Hand*

I know

I know

It's when they just walk away... no good reason, no explaination, no nothing. I think that's the one that hurts the most. I'd rather you beat me and yell at me and give me a reason to hate you rather than just drop me and break my heart leaving me wondering what it was that I did wrong? What about me made you want to leave? Thinking that I must be one pretty bad person to be so easily forgotten...

Just not right

mysplitpersonality mysplitpersonality
36-40, F
20 Responses Feb 11, 2009

I'll admit, I do this rather a lot. And I've known quite a few of my exes to get fairly irate over it. Its interesting to see a woman finding this type of breakup similarly distasteful.<br />
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The thing is... there ISN'T always a quantifiable reason. I mean sure, cheat on me, hit me, or maybe I meet someone else; these are all pretty obvious. But most of the time its just... I mean, relationships don't last forever, you know? Usually it just reaches a point where its not there anymore and, while I try to break that news as empathetically as possible, who I choose to be with for whatever reason is entirely my prerogative and I sure as hell don't feel the need to justify the decision or anything like that.

The same thing just happened to me. I didn't even get a break up, he just disappeared. Stopped calling me, messaging me, returning my calls.. Cut me out of his life literary out of nowhere for absolutely no reason. I didn’t know people actually do that! Clearly we were both dating complete cowards that don’t even have the decency to explain what went wrong, how the relationship fizzled. Maybe they are related and it’s in their blood?! Haha <br />
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Anyway I think it is the worst feeling, to be left with only memories, open ended questions and thoughts of what could have possibly went wrong? What did we do wrong? As much as you or I cared or still care about these heartless exes of ours, I’m starting to realize a man who can disappear without explanation, not even the respect to give clarification, isn’t really a man; and honestly I need a man not an immature little boy. You deserve better than that and you will get it. :) Karma creeps up on everyone!

I truly don't believe that ending a relationship without closure is any worse than ending a relationship with closure. There's absolutely nothing anyone can say that can make you feel better. "I'm dumping you because you're too good for me" - lie, that's just saying "you're not good enough for me but I don't want to hurt your feelings". "You're ugly" would that make you feel better? "I hate your voice" Would that make you feel better? "I cheated on you" would that make you feel better? No, of course not... Closure just gives you something specific to be insecure about, no closure means you will hurt, but you won't be insecure about a certain quality of yourself.

I think doing this to someone shows emotional immaturity or maybe they have something to hide ,either way hun I love you ,you rock and don't you ever forget it!!!

it happens... don't dwell just move forward :)<br />
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HUGS

Happened to me too, apparently I did nothing wrong, but I'm left blaming my self because he just walked away with no other explanation

This is definitely the worst possible thing someone can do. I was in a 2 year relationship with a girl. We had our issues now and then, but everything between us was generally really good. Then one day she just disappears. Stops ALL contact all together, won't respond to a single message or anything. 7 weeks have gone by and I still have nothing from her, I just can not understand how someone can go from "I love you" one day to NOTHING the next that quickly. Having no reason what so ever, or even being told that its over is just HORRIBLE.<br />
It makes it 10 times harder to move on because you keep wondering ... but maybe it can still work out? There is no closure, and it just tortures me.

I think It could be hard at the beginning, because you tend to think and think and think of the breakup and you wish you could at least learn something about the whole thing, but then, as you go on with your life, you notice that any possible reason is useless for you... there are million possible reasons to not love someone, but you should listen to a person who loves you, not to those ones who doesn´t...

IVFP understands this stupidity and hurt behind this one for sure... <br />
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Grams ~ I couldn't agree more!

I think that if a person, be it man or women, break up in a harsh way, weather, on the phone, just not call back, give no reason, make some really phony excuse, What ever... Well if you really think about it if they are not honest to you, to your face then you have not lost anything they are not worth your time, their actions don't reflect anything about you, it reflects on the person they are. I would take it as good riddens... as long as you are honest in your dealing you should keep your head up and come out the winner. Clutter in your life, again good riddens....

LMAO Just joining the group and having fun darlin'... not harping on it too much... or am I. Hhhmmm

Well...there ARE reasons for the breakup, it's just that the other person didn't share them. And it doesn't even matter. Why waste a minute of your time thinking about someone who's stupid enough to break up with you?

To me, I've always seen it coming, be it me or her. At times, as you try to explain why you are leaving, there is so little thought given to the fact that "us" is not working.... At times you add "at all" or "any more".<br />
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But, whichever it is, she doesn't hear or get it... so you walk away and she is left ... as you say ... wondering.<br />
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Too often the only communication is a monologe... seldom a diologe. There must be meaningful communication.. sadly, that is now too ofetn.... rare. Most often, all you get is chatter.

This was never intended as a "man bashing" story as I left it neutral. I'm sure there are women that do the same thing and just walk away. Regardless it's frustrating not knowing more about why, what if, etc. I mean if you're leaving me because I'm crazy, well ya probably knew that coming into it. But if it's something I can fix or an issue that I was unaware of or out of my control then let me know and maybe it's worth it to fix the relationship. <br />
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Just walking away makes me feel empty and hurt and just YUCK inside... I don't turn off my feelings that quickly and if the other person is capable of that then maybe the feelings weren't as true as originally thought. <br />
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Just more babble I guess...

I wish you Ladies wouldn't band all guys together. I have never broken up with a Lady and not given a reason for it. A couple have broken up with me and never gave me a reason. At the begining of any relationship I have had. This is one of the things I say. If you decide you don't want me or love me anymore then just tell me so we can part as friends. Only twice has that ever been done by the Lady I was seeing. Everytime it has been done by me when I have broken up with them.

guys are stupid and don't think before they act and can never give a real straight answer. you get nowhere trying to "understand" why they did what they did. useless.

just makes you wonder is all... daydreaming kinda day, don't mind me

I like NancyDrew post----yes they are the one who left a treasure--purely their loss! What a great way to think about it--instead of wondering "what I did wrong!"

Why assume that you did something wrong? Please don't blame yourself. Blame them. They are the ones that left a treasure. ((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))

If there are no apparent reasons, you end up feeling like trash, like you're not even worth having to justify leaving.