Breakup? What Breakup?!?
Posted October 18th, 2007 at 10:42AM
Here's my own story about a ridiculous breakup. I don't know that it's the worst EVER, but it's certainly infuriating.
I had been dating this guy for about a year. He had some serious issues, but he was really sweet and considerate, always surprising me with little presents, etc. So I kept hoping that there was a future to the relationship. But at some point I finally realised that it needed to end.
I worked up the courage to call him (we were living about an hour away from each other at the time, so we weren't seeing each other too frequently) and told him it was over. We could still be friends, we could still hang out, but our relationship issues were just too much to be overcome. He cried. I cried. We were on the phone for awhile before I finally called it quits.
I was going to let him make the next move, since he was the injured party. If he wanted to be friends, that was fine. If not, that was fine too, and probably easier.
About a week went by and I hadn't heard from him. Then I got home and apparently he'd been calling all day trying to reach me. I thought something might be wrong, so I called him back.
He was acting evasive, trying to make small talk, etc. I was trying to figure out why he was calling me all day if he didn't have anything to say. Then all of a sudden he comes out with it: "I think we should break up. It's not you, it's me. Blah blah blah." After saying this, he immediately shifted to, "There's people at the door, so I have to go. Bye." Click.
I was absolutely stunned. I don't think I said anything. My mouth was hanging open. I threw the wireless phone across the room in my fury. What the heck?
Did he legitimately forget that I had broken up with him? Did he suppress the memory of that hour long tear filled conversation? I don't think it's possible that he misunderstood what I was saying in any way. Maybe he had people on his end that he wanted to convince that he didn't get dumped, that he had dumped me? I still can't make sense of it. What the heck?!?
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Epilogue: Needless to say, we never spoke again. I heard through mutual friends that about 3 months later he was engaged to someone he'd met at his new office.
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HAHAHAHA
Thats funny, but it sucks. -
i'm extremely sad to say that i googled him a few weeks ago, and he's moved back to georgia :(
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Well im here for u if u want help u think u had it bad i dated a girl 5 tomes cuz im a nice guy. She dated the guy she had broken up with 4 times and my best friend once. So im here to help u -
He probably just wanted to get the last word and hurt you back.
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The same thing happened with my ex boyfriend...stupid idiot -_-
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Wow how sad is that. I guess some people just can't take being dumped. And you broke up with him so much better than the way he did with you. "people are at the door"
But it's not like you had much to say any way after that. -
If that happened to me I would have laughed. I think he was feeling insecure or something.
Also, it is insecure for someone to be engaged after 3 months. How long do you think that is going to last? -
one of the wisest people i ever met said to me its the end result that matters and the end result is that you didnt want this dude to be your man ....and if in his little world to save his sad ego he needs to feel like he broke up with you its a good sign that he has more issues than time life and it can be a reinforcment that you made a good choice to finish it being mad about it is kind of along the same mentality as his actions you were probily more perplexed and confused but you are free to attract some one more worthy of you dear that gives you gifts but doesnt need to compinsate for weirdo ness with them best of luck finding the winner you do deserve
with love j -
This was really funny, hahahaha
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Idon't get it? What difference does it make who does the actual breaking up if a warm relationship has been lost? A breakup should ideally be arrived at between the two parties involved after considerable attempts at discussion faceto face. Coutrtship takestwo so why not breaking up (once a relationship hasreached a certain point).
Your ex sounds like areal loser from his need for one upmanship, If he really loved you he'd have been much more serious about trying to make things work after a year of dating. real love is deeply felt and pervasive and not so easily turned on and off in both parties after a while.
Only abreakup between heartless "players" is without attendant hurt and pain for for both parties, the negative side of real love.
You're better off without this dodo- like jameelamystery says- you deserve better- go out and find a true lover and soulmate- one you can love, relate to and communicate with. Always go for the best- that way you'll never be disappointed. A wise friend of mine once shared this with me"OLd loves hurt- but only until someone better comes along"!. Find somebody better! -
The dumper always seems to save a little more face than the dumpee. It's all ego trash. Your ego will probably get a boost from all the characters telling you how great you are and how lame he was.
In the end none of it matters. You split because you did not fit not because either of you was better or worse than the other. -
I agree with jameelamystery. I have found thru experience that most men's ego's cant handle being wrong or rejected. My father has told me my entire life, "he is never wrong, he might not always be right, but he is never wrong."
My ex-husband divorced me cuz I got sick and couldnt work. So, he harrassed me and thru me along with my kids into the street with no food and no money. In order for him to feel better about himself for what he had done. He lied to everyone, claiming I was the one who cheated on him, (even tho he cheated with my friend in my own home.), and that I was a prescription drug addict.
He loved my daughter, so he told her his life was better now that she wasnt around. Then he threw his new girl friends daughter in her face. It tore her heart out. She cried in hysterics for days.
Bottom line, he knew what he did was really wrong, but his only way to live with himself was to believe and act, as if it was the females fault. Men will actually convince themselves that they did nothing wrong, just to keep their pride. Havent you heard the common saying " ALL CRIMINALS ARE INNOCENT" :)
My sisters husband is the same way and so is most men I have ever met. They will always turn things around to make it look like its the girls fault, even tho its obvious he was the one who was at fault. Doesnt matter if its just a simple conversation, he still has to always be right. Most of the time their excuses to turn things around are so dumb, that you don't know what to think of it. Now I just laugh at them, cuz I expect them to do it. lol -
he just did it to save his falling ego...
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LOL.. this is so funny... I can't believe this happened to more of one girl... some ppl just feel better to be the one who breaks up.
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Please, try to understand me... But IMOHO most of the girls are having relationships with men who never realy loved or appreciated them in the first place. Although it was obvius miles away from the begening that they were lied and cheated, they happily enter in to a rotten relationship. And on the oposite side the guys with true felings are beeng rejected most of the time by the same girls. WHY ??? -
well in my opinion he just tried to use a tacktick to bring the ex-girl back,by making you want him againg.He tried to leave toy with the impression that you are the one who can't have him not the opposite and probably he was hoping that you will call him to reunite or s.th. and the people at the door thing---- I think it was just a simple trick. My girl broke up with me 3 months ago because I had issues too,even though she really loved me. It is hard but it is not the end of the world
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hahahaha... like many people, i actually find this kind of funny. no offense to you, of course, but that's funny. maybe he thought there was still a chance since you two decided that you "may" still be friends, and that was his way of cutting THAT tie. I dont know, but obviously if that was the case, he's rather dumb. ;-D
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Wow was he much older than you and possibly senility has set in? My grandmother does some weird stuff like that but of course she has alzheimers. I am so sorry this happened in this way to you. sometimes you justr have to say wtf and go on I guess.
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I find this all really cynical and at the same time very sad! Of course he was hurt, he had feelings for you. Right?! Yes, it was weird how he expressed himself, but men express hurt in a different way than women. They are not as direct and have trouble verbally saying how they feel most of the time. In teaching, we call this 'acting out', it's what an emotionally inexperienced being (I'd say 'child' in this case, but this is not a child... maturity is not an indication of age) does when they can not express themselves through words. It might be funny but it's also sad.
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It sounds to me that he said/did what he did to "save face". If HE is the one to say it's over, he covers his humiliation in being "dumped" and if YOU are the one to call it off, well....he has to face the questions of "what happened?". Don't stress this guy. He has problems and you should consider yourself fortunate not to have him in your life anymore.
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You said yourself that this person had some issues, I guess so huh? Maybe he thought your attempts to keep a friendship were a way to save the relationship...who knows. I wouldn't be upset about it because there is nothing you can do about how he reacted to your rejection. Just be glad you are finally away from him because if he is as disturbed as it sounds he may have become dangerous.
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wow, thanks for all the comments you guys! i enjoyed reading them, and hearing about your stories. sorry it took me so long to respond!
don't worry about me, after him i found the guy i was supposed to be with, and we're happily married now.
and i don't really sit around and waste energy being angry about it. but it's just one of those things that happened to you, and when it comes up you go, "wow, what the heck was that about, anyway? grrr!" and move on.
so all's well that ends well! but.....what the heck was that about? ;) -
Thats so strange!
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You sure his name isn't George Costanza?
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lol, i love the comments this story is getting! regarding senility: no, he was only one year older than me. we were both in early 20's at the time.
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LOL ! that was really funny ! He obviously did that extremely weird move to save his ego. But hey look on the bright side, at least you got rid of that weirdo ! haha
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Wow, that was very immature of him. He wanted you to think he was going to break up with you before you did. thats so childish. Sorry you had to deal with that
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lol what a moron- I bet he was doing this in front of the girl who he got engaged to. To show how "macho" he is and how he only wanted her.
PFFTTTTT. -
he hadn't met her yet, actually. that was only a week after i broke up with him, and he didn't move out of state (which led him to meet her) until a month or two later.
it's baffling. -
That sounds like something my ex would do--he always had to have the upper hand and would just ignore anything that happened where he did not come out on top. LOL
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Maybe he wasn't listening properly to you first time? But I think he said what he did to 'save face'.
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