Breakup? What Breakup?!?

Here's my own story about a ridiculous breakup. I don't know that it's the worst EVER, but it's certainly infuriating.

I had been dating this guy for about a year. He had some serious issues, but he was really sweet and considerate, always surprising me with little presents, etc. So I kept hoping that there was a future to the relationship. But at some point I finally realised that it needed to end.

I worked up the courage to call him (we were living about an hour away from each other at the time, so we weren't seeing each other too frequently) and told him it was over. We could still be friends, we could still hang out, but our relationship issues were just too much to be overcome. He cried. I cried. We were on the phone for awhile before I finally called it quits.

I was going to let him make the next move, since he was the injured party. If he wanted to be friends, that was fine. If not, that was fine too, and probably easier.

About a week went by and I hadn't heard from him. Then I got home and apparently he'd been calling all day trying to reach me. I thought something might be wrong, so I called him back.

He was acting evasive, trying to make small talk, etc. I was trying to figure out why he was calling me all day if he didn't have anything to say. Then all of a sudden he comes out with it: "I think we should break up. It's not you, it's me. Blah blah blah." After saying this, he immediately shifted to, "There's people at the door, so I have to go. Bye." Click.

I was absolutely stunned. I don't think I said anything. My mouth was hanging open. I threw the wireless phone across the room in my fury. What the heck?

Did he legitimately forget that I had broken up with him? Did he suppress the memory of that hour long tear filled conversation? I don't think it's possible that he misunderstood what I was saying in any way. Maybe he had people on his end that he wanted to convince that he didn't get dumped, that he had dumped me? I still can't make sense of it. What the heck?!?

journeyfulloflaughter journeyfulloflaughter
26-30, F
664 Responses Oct 18, 2007

Grief from a loss can make people act in crazy ways from the pain. The injury is not always just ego, it could be perceived as the loss of the love of your life, (worse, that the person does not share the idea that they are the love of your life). People don't even act like themselves. I see nothing surprising at what he did. One possibility is that he was in denial that it could possibly be over, and that that was beyond his control. Then he realized that he wanted it to be over. Since that is in his control and is a small comfort in a terrible time, that is the perception he chose. People don't act rational during breakups. Its dealing with the death of something.

It explains a lot. This guy is so broken up and it affected his self 3esteem. What he has done is a defence mechanism to keep his self esteem up. If someone dumped him, that is something negative of him, so he suppressed that fact. But since he is no longer in relationship with you, he have to break up, by himself.<br />
<br />
If you got what you want done, then everything is fine.

why does every one think that men are always trying to prove that they are right?.... there are times when men really assess a situation from their gut feeling rather than what every other sees, which normally turns out to be true. All men are nt the same. My girl friend dumped me for a man of 55 years who she had known only for three days.... Our relationship was eight years old..... She never told me that she was into other relationship. But it was me who found out all odd messages from this old man...... I tried to speak to this guy and win her back. But she completely was into this guy. DO YOU ALL STILL THINK THAT MEN ARE THE ONE WHO IS ALWAYS CHEATING AROUND?....... Moreover, she blamed me that I was the onewho pushed her to go into a relation ship. Why?.... Because I am in the navy and I was not always available. Great answer from the females who are always considered to be the faithful one.

hi julio,<br />
i read ur story.........<br />
sounds that u must have been hurt aftr hearing that mr serious issues. i feel that wen u told him u want an end to ur relation, he must have felt bad too. and when he was not able to overcum that, he made his mind to hit u back wid ur own mark. may be he wanted to make u feel that how it does suck wen u make these words to someone who is in relation wid u since a yr. <br />
and anyways its fine that u r away frm him now.....<br />
getting presents is not a big deal to make. may be the next one who falls in luv wid u will be the best gift for u ever. <br />
all the very best to u for the best nd the biggest surprise gift waiting for u....<br />
<br />
wid love<br />

What just happened?

with all the asumptions and theorys and brainstorming....<br />
the truth is you may never know...<br />
relationships of today seem false to me...<br />
devorces are so common and not really taken seriously now is my opinion .<br />
trust is an issue but hey....

My first boyfriend and I were going out for about six months. He was sweet, seemingly very into me, and, we hit it off right away. Anyway, he was growing all...strange, just after my birthday. I rang him one saturday after a week of silence. He picked up the phone, I was really glad to hear his voice....until he said 'I have other friends, I don't need to hang out with you anymore'. That was his breakup. So, we were reduced to just friends, huh, and hanging out? So I was crying, and ring a few schoolfriends for support. <br />
<br />
Bet you can guess what comes next?<br />
<br />
Single, he told me. Single my ***. Not only did he already have another girlfriend--he had two. Turns out one of my mates had known all along. :(

Let me get this straight. Yoou called and broke up with him,you waited every day for him to call and when he did you were worried something was wrong and called him. You found out after the breakup he got engaged and who he got engaged to. Then you googled his name to find out he moved. OK my question why are you so obsessed with someone you supposedly wanted to break up with. I have broken up with people before and I didn't follow their every move afterwards.

he was trying to ease his conscious over hurting you.<br />
<br />
that guy sucks!

the "egoist".....had to have the last word.<br />
BTW .. i have been dumped several times since i was 16 years (I'm 35 now) and i would like to ask what do you women mean when you say the reason we ware breaking up is "you're too good for me" & "I'm sure you will find someone better than me" or /and "i just want you to be happy"<br />
i have definitely under stood what s going on when this was dished out to me but but please all my nice ladies out there pls give me your version of the truth

Omg.. this may not be the worst break up but surely the weirdest. I hope you're not sad anymore - I think it's a good thing you got this weird guy who's in the deepest denial i#ve ever heard out of your life.

it's always very embarrassing when a man is dumped by a take is,he knew it was over but still wanted to proof that he was still a man ' this is where we men get it all wrong,in these times we are never superior,we are all equal and should be willing to accept defeat when it comes our way.

being dumped is no less embarrassing for a woman either. i know from experience.

Doesn't really matter who broke up with who, all that matters is that you wanted out of that relationship and you got out. What he did is indeed very strange, but at the end of the day you know the truth and so do those close to you, what he does to validate himself is no longer your concern and just thank your lucky stars that you got out of that relationship when you did because he is obviously insecure and immature.

The poor guy. Sound like he went into denial and the hurt was so bad he blocked out the scene where you broke up with him and then called and broke up with you to help himself cope with the hurt. Guys are funny creatures, we are.<br />
<br />
But, I hope your doing ok.........

He definitely wanted to be the "dumper" and not the "dumpee", and his issues ran deep enough to make him think this would change the fact that you dumped him already.

hi i know it does hurt you even if you tried not to show off <br />
well you do know well that you were the first to end the story and to throw him off your life and then concerning his reaction i guess that the fact that he is hurt pushed him to behave that way if it is not that he won't even call you then he will find it as a golden occasion if he has been fed up as he wanted to show <br />
really this story has moved me a lot though it is rediculous to a some degree but i have a feeling that both of you still love each other concerning his new attachement i think that it only a reaction to the act of leaving him

life is too short just laughed at him and enjoy the life.

WOW that guy seriously had an issue. but i would still talk to him about it to see what he comes up with.

Hi there :) ...well first of all I would like to say thank you for sharing hehe... In my opinion this is, "HUMAN, ALL TOO HUMAN!" ...And as for the above comments, if I may, (e.g.) He probably just wanted to get the last word and hurt you back., Also, it is insecure for someone to be engaged after 3 months. How long do you think that is going to last?, one of the wisest people i ever met said to me its the end result that matters, etc., ..."HUMAN, TOO HUMAN!"

this is just crazy! lol ive heard cases like these before. and im not sure if to break up with my bfhe kinda has some issues as well.

wow either this guy is really delirious or he was infact trying to show his control infront of his friends still trying to be "The Man" wow why are some guys just so inmature?

Wow, stunning.

one thing that struck my mind is: i think this lady stil loves that guy. sorry i dont mean to hurt you but its absurd for you to check back at someone you cut of from, especially if you are the architect of the breakup. As of the guy ithink he is trying to safe his face from humilliation, i.e from himself or from others.

thaaaat sucks,,, some people just need to end it on their own terms i guess.

For his own vision of manhood, he probably felt like he needed to by the one to end things. Good luck with your next relationship.

You say that you needed to break off the relationship, and in the end that is what happened; so I wonder why it matters who felt "dumped"?

Ummm... can you say immature, insecure male?!? It sounds like you made the right move by cutting it off when you did (even though he'd like to 'pretend' that he did). It sounds like you're MUCH better off and I wish you the best of luck!!!!

Some people really had a problem confronting reality! alot of people i know thier BFs did the same maybe a lil differently..... as sayin why dont u give us another try then the next mornin' they just say its not workin' .... i think all kinds of males have a problem accepting they can be dumped !!

either way just be happy it is over, you know the truth & that is all that matters

Wow that's very interesting and funny!!!

Uhhmm yea most likely someone was there on the other end he was trying to impress. <br />
But more importantly I know you think think he is a loser now right? <br />
And wont be answering anymore calls. He might pop up with a call just because he knows he planted that "what the f,,k was that!" seed in your head. He sure put alot of thought into that little act.

oh wow, what a bizarre double break least it was evenly balanced: you both got to break up with/at eachother,<br />
<br />
tho it is pretty s-t-r-a-n-g-e that your 'ex' had to stage his own re-breakup a week after you'd called it quits.<br />
<br />
When I was young(er) I was married and very very unhappy in that marriage. After many months of thinking it about it, getting counselling, trying to work it out I finally got the courage and clarity to break up with my which he PRETENDED to have a seizure...and conveniently couldn't remember anything about our big long talk or the parting of ways........<br />
<br />
Months past, he regained his health, our relationship didn't, and eventually I worked up the courage and clarity to end our marriage, again,... and yesiree, the same thing happened. <br />
<br />
Eventually we did break up, third time around, and he even remained conscious. Strange to think that I was there for all three break ups and he was only there for one, the last one.<br />
<br />
I hear from friends of friends that he still pretends to have seizures whenever he finds something too much to bear, no tests or medical screening has ever proved any physiological condition and only proved that he had been lying when he said he had epilepsy after his first 'fit'<br />
<br />
the things we do when we are young and stupid!

I enjoyed this story lol. it's so true though about the ego. <br />
I was in a destructive relationship for 18months with someone that just didn't want to accept that he had done anything to make me want to leave. I tried everything, i talked to him, I threw him out, but it just took so much energy to stick to my guns and i actually thought the promises meant things would change.. so I kept giving in. then i moved out, he kept harassing me, blaming me for his inability to look after himself, calling me names.. I'm not someone to pull the "I'll call the cops" line out so instead I told him that I didn't think I could fulfill what he wanted in a partner, that I didn't want to make him unhappy any longer and hold him back. What happened? He walked away, ego full and left me alone.. I really never understood it, and the situation was pretty sad, but it worked.

Well that's how all men are, they always want be the first person to say it over, but for me i think he was not shearing tears because you u said you two should break up but rather hurt for you to be the first person say that to him so he took advantage when you made a statement that you can still be friends. So he had the chance to speak to repeat the same words back to to hurt you and also to confuse you. my advice is that don't call him anymore don't even give the chance at all my sister

My girlfriend dumped me a few months back with the "I just want to be friends" line - adding that she never really felt anything for me the entire time we were dating and that she merely carried on the relationship because she didn't want to hurt me, but then got tired of the whole thing and didn't want to keep "leading me on" - so I understand how hard a breakup can be on a guy.<br />
<br />
I admit, too, that she may have had a couple of legitimate gripes - like the time we argued over who was in the right/in the wrong when that guy grabbed her *** as we exited a movie theater and I hauled off and decked him. She said "I could have taken care of myself; don't you trust me?" and I said, "It's not that I don't - I just managed to hit him first". There were a couple of other incidents, such as the time she got mad when I wouldn't accept the offer from the gay guy in our class to go on a date with both her and him, but this is dragging on long enough as-is. Yeah, I loved her and was protective when it came to our relationship; I wasn't about to let anyone or anything jeopardize it. Maybe I was in the wrong. I dunno. Probably never will know.<br />
<br />
But a man's ego isn't a fragile as some might think. I think he was doing it more to hurt than to save face, which is even worse. Granted, this means he was hurt by the initial breakup, but that is small comfort. As a guy it pains me to admit it, but there are some guys out there that are downright mean. Yet it's these that keep getting the women while guys who try to be nice and do good things for the girls they DO manage to get end up being left in the dust. Doesn't seem quite fair to me - I just hope your relationship with whatever guy you end up with next goes better.

Breaking up with your guy depends on you. Firstly you'd have made up your mind and come to a conclusion. fine, Well my own opinion in any relationship that call for break up is that love does not exist between the two parties and what that have sustain the relationship to this stage is just a mere infatuation. Secondly, where genuine love exist breaking up would not be an option for either parties. Come to think of the nice time both had together, understand and tolerate each other especially at the hard-hitting moment.<br />
Ability to manage people adequately is also very important factor in any relationship, having realize that human being have different attitude and from varies ethical background. Please note that no relationship in the world that exist without disorderliness, like i said it depends on you and managing such situation takes you to decide where love exist. Think about it.

Your story is uncommon but I'm not all that surprised by his reaction. Just as easily he could come by your house and pretend that the break up never existed, or send you flowers every day so you can change your mind about it. My point is people are extremely dynamic, very cruel and very tender at the same time. It would be a mistake to say "I know this man" , we are really clueless about many things, human behavior especially :)

@journeyfulloflaughter - That's a pretty quick amount of time between mourning for him and being married to a new guy! Just sayin'.... -- all the best to you though.

Also my ex did this to me!~~ and he wrote lots of things(something is not true) in his blog... made people think i am the bad bad guy...god~~

that's so funny!but it's not difficult to understand! that 's man u know! always want to be the one who dumps others to save his face! Just like my ex-boyfriend, when i said goodbye to him, he cried, then got mad, and finally, told me like this " i must be the one who dump you because i cant stand up with you anymore". anyway, in my opinion, men like that are always selfish and love themselves. hope u will find a better man!


honestly i think that he just wanted his friends or what not that was there with him to hear what he was doing like breaking up with u, or he wanted to record it lol but all in all u didnt need him u were better off without him, and the ony reason u prolly googled him was to c if he was with someone or to see what he was doing but he moved back to georgia so there for u are BETTER off without him u can do better i know i have been in a situation like that..

Way back when I was a bit more naive than I am today, I had broken up with someone who took it badly, and begged me into seeing him just once more (meet at a coffee shop) "to say goodbye in person" then he created a loud scene in public, and "dumped" me, loudly proclaiming waht a b* I was. Public embarrasment! B4 he got back to work I called his boss and left a msg in a disguised voice that I was his shrink and needed to warn his place of employment Mr. X had apparently suffered a nervous bkdwn and was acting unstable and he should be closely watched. I KNOW that today this would not go over well, impersonating a shrink, and I don't recommend it, but when you're like 20 y/o 20 years ago things were different. AFAIK he left his job soon after, never could tell if the phone call did that but I hope so.

this is funny :D ... but why google the guy ?

Every one has feelings they matter to the one going through it ... forgive him for whatever reasons without criticising .....and whatever he did atleast ,You guys loved each other one point of time honor it and lovingly let go.. without getting the ego ride over head ..........It shows maturity not looking down on people in their immature insecure phase It shows they are human and are not feeling less or heartless<br />
It also shows They did not feel loved from most important people in their lives when it really mattered <br />
<br />
God Bless you both with wonderful life and blessings with love

maybe he had more than one relationship on the go and forgot which one dumped him?

I gotta be honest....if you googled him, and were sad that he moved to Georgia, it does not sound like you wanted him out of your life, or out of a relationship with him. Perhaps that was what came through in that hour long conversation with him. And maybe that is why he used the "people at the door" thing when he called you avoid confusion and another hour long conversation. Think about it.<br />
<br />
And to the person who said in their comment: "Go for the best - that way you'll never be disappointed"...this won't work...there are always disappointments in life and relationships...thinking that there won't be disappointments ruins relationships before they start. Check out the divorce rate in the expectation of disappointment and no real commitment to see relationships past those disappointments. That takes real love in action. Movies and television have given so many people false realities...they don't know the truth. Only God is perfect...and we know Him through His Son Jesus Christ, who died for our sins so that we can be restored to relationship with Him. Adam messed it up. Jesus fixed it.

I can't believe how few people on here can see the truth...amazing! She googled him and kept track. An hour long conversation to break up?...I doubt either knew the outcome of that conversation by the end.<br />
<br />
He called back, made the breakup clear, and used the "people at the door" thing to keep it short and avoid confusion.<br />
<br />
It sounds like a lot of women on here don't want to face reality...instead they just bash men...that is not productive.

Sounds like the engagement three months after you was his attempt to replace you.

I am so sorry Journeyfulloflaughter.. I wish things were different between us, but really - you are a wonderful person, you need to find someone who appreciates you, loves you and cherishes you.. I am just not your type.. please don't be hurt, but we need to end this relationship right now.. much love

I also did quite similar with a girl <br />
<br />
It was first April i found a rose and proposed a girl but i was unknown that she really loved me and i proposed her happily see said yes but i thought "she is just joking" and i said April fool after that you can imagine she cried for nearly 4 days i felt sooooooo guilty but what could i do

this totally brightened my day. I am laughing histerically. :)

There is always the dumper and the dumpee being the dumpee sucks. We can still be friends, thats not what the dumpee wants to hear and if they accept ,all it does is drag out the relationship for the dumpee who still feels that they have a chance to get back into the relatonship. If you are a dumpee then get out and start a new relationship and stop waiting for the call. If you are the dumper do not encourage " we can still be friends". It only leads to more hurt feelings.

How immature, that would anger me too even though it's his silly misconception :) He probably can't live with knowing he got dumped, but he knows what TRULY happened.

even though im a boy thats cool


Ok, now that guy was weird.... or he is just a jerk deep down.

I think he remembered that you broke up with him, but tried to do it in front of his friends so that he can brag about it...Idiot boys...

A psychologist would call that an early sign to a diagnosis of bi-polar personality disorder. No matter what happens or what is said, they need to be the one to leave any relationship, intimate, professional or platonic. =) i speak from experience

Ha Ha Ha, I have to laugh! Just be glad the guy lived an hour away! Got my self in the same position and have been trying to unmess that up for about 15 years! Sad part is... I have a child with that type... (don't ask-don't tell! lol).<br />
Too nice for my own good! I have a daughter who acts just like that too, talking to herself in front of spectators, responding to nothing I am saying on the other end????<br />
Sad thing is charactors like that make it impossible to stay associated if one wants to live a decent respectable life? The damage done to the young children is not discribable! Anyone who can explain this, feel free to post advice!? :O ????

Sometimes is hard to let things go, because to stay in denial about it means you have a sense of continuity. The grieving process is difficult and if we don't allow it to progress normally and move through the difficult emotions involved it can really slow us down later on. I hope your ex is ok and that you have let him go. We desearve happiness and all the good things we need.

That's just.. I don't even know what that is.. I've never heard of something like that.. weird.. very weird.. wonder what was going through his mind o.o..

Anyway this has to happen. But who will bell the cat. You came up first. He was not able to bear. So he announced the breakup as if he never heard from you.

As I was reading the story but before I got to the end, I thought,"Did she call the wrong guy?" Guess I have been listening to too much Paul Harvey.It sounds like your ex had one more issue of which you knew nothing....LOL! Break-ups are always hard regardless of who is doing the breaking up.This is one relationship you are definitely better off not being in . Better luck on the next one.


it really sucks

Wow, that would make you mad but OMG it's good for a laugh. If you can't laugh at it now, you'll probably be laughing at it later. xD

I can't tell you how to feel. You are already aware, you just have to understand or be able to get past it. Its not always easy.<br />
I am the last one to give advice. I married a girl back in 1989 because she became pregnant, I thought that was what a man was suppose to do. We werent even married three weeks before I came home and found another man in bed with her. I was working a twelve hour graveyard shift job trying to be responsible. I forgave her and she had an affair with our neighbor and got pregnant. That disolved the relationship.<br />
My second wife was my high school sweetheart and we reconnected after 13 years. She was pregnant after three months. She died three months after she had the baby. I left her two weeks prior not knowing that she was ill.<br />
I recovered from a serious drug addiction when I hooked up with my last girlfriend. We have two children. She kept asking why we would'nt get married. I think that the average fool could understand why. It turns out that I am the average fool. Signed, torn, confussed, and sad and lonely Jess.

My boys are now 6 and 8. You can't even begin to imagine just how much I love them. Jess

My boys are now 6 and 8. You can't even begin to imagine just how much I love them. Jess

Naturally men are egoistic. They cant stand being dumped but my opinion is that the guy just wanted to make you furious. He has more issues than you even know

I dated a real creepy guy for way too long, he started off very romantic and attentive. he soon became controlling and very passive aggressive, not calling me for weeks if we had some relationship issues to work through. He always turned and twisted the truth around to his advantage, to his point of view. I finally had had it with this loser, and broke up with him. He managed to weasel his way back into my life and bedroom with some pretty convincing words and more romance of course. I didn't realize what was really going on until things started to get all yucky again, I found out he was filing for bankruptcy, pursuing other women, and outright lying to me. I finally ended it for good just recently. I have only myself to blame though for not being awake to what was happening to me. The guy had the nerve to be telling people HE ended it because I was the screwed up one. Just a big ego with absolutely nothing to offer a woman. Pretty much out for himself and his own needs. Okay done venting, thanks.

oh. he's a moron, I should say. better luck next time, pal!!!<br />
<br />
Bye,<br />

You lossy cow. You gotta respect other's sentiments.<br />
<br />
Well , good for him that he got anouther girl friend to fill up your place.<br />
It is easy enough for Guys, to find girls, for themselves . <br />
<br />
Its the girls, who have to take lots of trouble, finding the correct guy for them .<br />
<br />
However guys are emotionally weaker than girls, and are more affected by a break up. That guy really loved you, otherwise he won't cry for you .<br />
<br />
And you see ! He cried for you ! Yet after a few months, he forgot you quickly enough and got anouther one for himself .

Oh MYYYYY!!! That is hilarious and sad at the same time! ROFL!!! Now, in oneof your post above, you said you had googled him...Okay that's not okay and actually you did exactly what that crazy phone call meant for you to do.....THINK TWICE! He knew you would start feeling that way...It's a control thing...just let it go! We know who initiated the break up! Now, if he hadn't moved back to Georgia, wuld you have hooked back up with him....It wouldn't have lasted, cause you would have broken up with him again!!! LOLOL! It's a vicious cycle!!!

lol!! why would you let an idiot like that get you so mad especially if your the one who dumped him lololol he sounded like he wanted to make himself feel better .....lolol gosh i can't help but laugh at this....good luck :) you'll find someone WAY better im sure.

And WHY do i get your story in an email?

thats a very funny story but i can relate to that... anyway at least you are not longer with HIM. you should move on girl...

.....Oh my.....that's just....MEAN. You broke up with him....then....he tells you that its over? .__________. Now that's just....strange....

sorry I really can't get the reason of ur breakup.can u explain it to my email.My id is

I know this is an old post, but I had to say my piece about this. This guy is a creepazoid, because he was weird enough to call you and act as if you had never broken up with him, and then break up with you. Clearly there are huge chunks of his brain that have gone AWOL, and/or he is blocking out stuff so that he feels better about himself. Aren't you glad you weren't stuck for a lifetime with this guy? PLUS..a man who breaks up and then gets engaged 3 months later (not to someone he knew previously) but to an entirely new person that he just met shows that he was not ready for a real and loving and mature relationship with you in the first place. I think people like this should come with warning labels taped to their foreheads, so that we can all AVOID them. He's been socialized to appear "normal" but not "maturized" to BE normal. The beauty of this, is that I hope that 2 years later, you will post whatever happened to his relationship with the 3-month gal. Who knows, perhaps she taught him how to grow up. If that's the case, then good for her. I'm all for karma coming back to teach folks a lesson.

personally, I think that was his answer later down the road, that you were waiting for on the phone, when you broke up with him. I think he didn't know what to say at that moment....and waited. I don't think he was doing the breaking up...i think he was FINALLY giving you your answer

Only abreakup between heartless "pla<x>yers" is without attendant hurt and pain for for both parties, the negative side of real love.You're better off without this dodo- like jameelamystery says- you deserve better- go out and find a true lover and soulmate- one you can love, relate to and communicate with. Always go for the best- that way you'll never be disappointed. A wise friend of mine once shared this with me"OLd loves hurt- but only until someone better comes along"!. Find somebody better!

Obviously,noone wants to be the deserted one.It is a nomal method to protect ourselves.In the emotion world,we're all child.<br />
Jimmy choo

Obviously,noone wants to be the deserted one.It is a nomal method to protect ourselves.In the emotion world,we're all child.<br />
Jimmy choo

I think if you want to change perspective, you must afford other party the same chance.<br />
I think your telling him warranted re-telling him if message didn't get through. Probby best if you did this in person. Today's cancel anytime mentality doesn't sit well.<br />
I think he felt your manner was '******' and may have affected him more with all his known troubles and changed him biochemically leading to erratic/'flaky' behavior.<br />
I think if you miss someone or something(miss the presents) it means you weren't compassionate(to them or yourself) enough in the first place<br />
I think the lesson here is not to do things for 'good'.<br />
And the gift here is the two-fold knowledge that there is always room at the top and it is lonely at the top.<br />
The more problems the more sweeter it is when they are solved. Back and forth is actually disloyal. Not to relationship, but to respect. When all out of kilter.<br />
I thought alot about this situation(one i've been a party to).

Sorry to hear that -hugs-:')

As simple as that, the guy somehow decided to trun thing around in order to keep his pride. When you broke up with him he got shocked and took him a while to digest things. Once the situation cleared up, he desperately decided to get out of this at least as the break-up initiater, the one who had the decision to make. <br />
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I am not sure he's got issues or whatever. Sometimes people act bizarre if come across and awkward situation, and they honestly believe they're doing the right logical thing. Your surrounding and what you go through forms your fr<x>ame of mind. You might be aware of it, but you simply go with unstable mental flow. <br />
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He knows you dumped him, and decided to spin the earth backwards like superman did to Louis. Imaginative thinking?! I guess desperate measures speak louders...

I experienced once likes what was happened to you. He doesn't have a look except he consider wealhty but he isn't rich coz it's not his money. (not came from his sweat) .His parent money so, nothing to be proud with him. I knew him as a friend for 4 months but we never go out. We more likes a friend actually but without i knowing he got a feeling to liking me then he moved to somewhere else but he still keeping in touch with me. He even called and text me even though he not supposed to do it. I told him it's morning (3am) u better go sleep but he likes addicted can't stop for doing so. Before he going back to his country he asked me if i have a boyfriend. I told him i have lots of boyfriends but not a special one then he asked me would i marry him. I replied him gives me time to think about it. <br />
I was asking myself do i really love him or just liking him as a friend. I don't have that feeling at all and i just get to know him for 4 months and it was't worth it all to married him without knowing him. I'm not sacrificied for something that i feel not worth it and my gut feeling telling me that i can't trust him even though he look like a religious person . He love me just because of my look not for who am I that what i was thought. He went back to his country after that he tried to cut off his communication with me but he always tried to contacted my housemate and also his friend. I felt like he was angry with me then i tried to contact him and he said" i like you as agood friend, and that we will always be friends" but i'm not ready for a relationship right now. i still have work and school and all those things. i don't think you are very attractive and a very nice girl, and i can't make any commitments, especially without dating you. I hope you can understand" . First i wanted to throw all those words that he sent to me by e-mail and all his flirts. If he respect me as his friend he may not supposed to flirts with those words even something dirty words which i always remain him not to talk these kinds of words to me. From that time i actually not so sured about my feeling before it happened but my friend of mine asked me to accepted him and sudennly he turned me down just because i asked him to give me time to think about it. So, i told my friend if he think i'm his friend it's fine with me and it make things more easy for me and i no need to consider to accept him to be my boyfriend or not. so, i told him well if it's your choice if it's what you want i accepted it and we will be a friends forever. He always had a contacted with my housemate and aksed her about me. I told my friend not to gave him any information about me . Why he still interested to know about what going on in my personal life it's nothing to do with him anymore.I even don't care if he a lives or not it isn't my business. I managed to forgot about all hurthing words he threw on me coz i quite pretty busy with my works and small business at that time. So i really don't have time to think about him. Things i really hated he even tried to created a stories and told me my housemate asked me to cut my communication with him and i know my housemate didn' t do it and she told me vice versa. But we knows each others better and stayed together more than 7 years . And who is he try to break our relationship. We hold the trust. Then one day he called me and i pretend that i didn't recognize his voice and mentioned one of my guy friend coz i want him to know that i can live without him i can move on. Then he called up aggain one night and i told him i'm waiting my friend finished showered and i can't talked to him so long coz we wanted to go out for midnight movie (but i didn't mentioned they are my girl friends). I knew that he tried to get back to me and aksed for second chances and 2 months later he got engaged with one of girls from my country but different state. I remembered he said" he got school & work to do, he doesn't wants any relationship right now, we are different country and we can't go out for dating" Weren't all those logic. It weren't logic at all. I'm happy you moved on and now you more happy married with your husband without wasted your times for someone who doesn't know how to appreciated you. Our story almost the same. I grateful to God for his guidance not choosing him and he boosted his ego out by proved to me even if i can't have you i still can have a woman to marry. Maybe that is what he tried to say when he decided to marry her. I can see he is full of revenge, hatred , he can't accepted the facts. Did he keep his words when he said we were far from each other and can't go out for date, school and works. Even now he is cshooling and working . Does it tell me the differents.? So, i know how you felt and this kind of men have no right to deserved to be with you either me. We can deserve better than him. So, like you how long his marriage will be last which he chosed to revenge against me. I will observe and watching his drama. If can be last I still happy if it's turn up side down. I'm pity for his wife. That all i can says. Your ex-b and my friend they were having same kind of attitudes that they themselves can't control and can't accepted the facts it's over. I wish you always happy with your marriage. Just move on