I'm So Stressed Out...

Most of this is due to my boyfriend... we've been together for 3 years and it's always been a bit rocky...

Recently though, he's been talking to this girl who apparently is just a friend of his brother's. He sometimes visits his family in Ipswich but he stays over night, and I think he's been lying to me about where he has been staying. Now this girl somehow has his phone number, and is sending him messages on Facebook like "I am gonna seduce you X" and he sent back "Woo hoo! X"

Why would he do that??? And why would she be talking to him so much if she's just her brother's friend? Also, his brother accused him of having sexual stuff going on between them.

Our relationship has been almost completely sexless recently, he says it's because he just hasn't felt like it, but then why is she sending him messages like that?? He doesn't even put kisses on the end of messages he sends to me unless I ask him to....

I don't know what to think...
cheesewoman cheesewoman
7 Responses Jul 15, 2010

I still think you just need to flat out ask him if he cheated on you with her. I'm not saying I know the guy but I'm worried he'll do it again if you dont bring this up. From what you said, you didn't really bring up anything with him, he just got mad cause you tried talking to her, then he apologized to make everything seem OK. Listen to me when I say that things are most likely not OK, something else is going to happen if you dont confront this head on.

Thank you to everyone for your kind words and support. <br />
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In the end I actually contacted the girl, but didn't mention the messages that had been sent between them. I just asked her how she knew him... and well she didn't tell me. Instead she messaged HIM and he came home and started shouting at me, kicking things around the room and got in a rage. <br />
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I didn't tell him that I knew about the messages either, but I think he knows that I know something and that he can't get away with ANYTHING like that with me. I'm not co-dependant but I don't like being messed around either.<br />
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Anyway, after his little hissy-fit he calmed down and apologised to me for getting angry, deleted his facebook profile and said that he deleted her number ages ago. I don't know if this is true or not but he hides his phone from me so I have no way to find out for myself.<br />
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Either way things have been better for a while, but I can't help thinking that something else is going to crop up on our relationship and yet again he's gonna be an idiot and do something similar to this.

Wow, there's definitely something weird going on. Either he doesn't care about your feelings, or he's just trying to mess around with another girl. I can chat with you if you'd like, I have tons to say about this.

yeah there's plenty of evidence there to support that he is or wants to cheat on you. you say your relationship has always been rocky, go find somebody you can have a stable loving relationship with.

I agree with BboyFS... it seems he is interested in another woman. You need to confront him about this, because its not fair to you.

I agree with BboyFS... it seems he is interested in another woman. You need to confront him about this, because its not fair to you.

You need to confront him about it. If you haven't brought it out to the light you need to ask him straight up if something more is going on between them because you have suspicion that it is. Tell him that you dont like how they talk about this sexual stuff.<br />
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Remember, just because you have been with someone for a long time doesn't mean you should let them get away with things that you know aren't proper for them to do. If you haven't been happy with him lately then why stay? Say what you need to say and know if it is right he will right his wrongs to be with you, if not then he's not worth your time.