My Husband Has Changed His Mind After We Agreed On Kids And Now I Dont Know What To Do

im 31  with 2 healthy smart beautiful boys one is 13 and the other just turned 4 last month. my husband and i have known each other since we were 13 and have been together almost 10yrs(married 6) my older son is from my 1st marriage but my hubby has always been his dad..anyway ...before we got married we talked about what we both wanted as far as the future kids,house,carers ya know normal things couples talk far as kids i wanted at least 4 him 2 we comped on 3 when our son wyatt was born in 2008 things were perfect. after wyatt was a few months old we talked about when we would have another one and thats when things started to change he really wasnt sure any more about having 3 kids of course my feelings were hurt and i got pissed because we had always said 3 was going to be our number. after a few days i revisted the topic with him and we came up with a new agreement we would wait for wyatt to be potty trained(i think he thought it would take till wyatt was 10 lol )and that wyatt would be about to start school and we had to buy not rent but buy a house. which i honestly thought was a good plan i wanted to enjoy wyatt being little and watch and love all the moments with him and josh (my older son) and just be all that they needed me to be. well now we are 4years later josh who is now a teenager spends less and less time here...i know  iknow i remember being a teenager my parents were lame and i just wanted to hang with my friends. wyatt will be starting public school(we pay for private 2day education program) so why not revisit the idea right? boy was i wrong he said no no no he doesnt want any more kids..... so now what ..... i dont know how to put into words the feelings i get with the idea of not having another baby......i love my boys my whole world revoles around my boys but i just dont feel a piece of my heart is missing....i come from a family of 8 brothers and sisters and always wanted 4 no less always pictured 3 boys and a girl .....i can close my eyes and see them all bday parties school plays vacations on the beach prom weddings college graduations and now its gone......  he took that away went back on his word voided our agreement and crushed my dreams and broke my what am i suppose to do ...i left my first hubby for the same reason ...there were other issues but really it was he had said no to more kids and josh was 3 at the time......i love my hubby and have never thought of my life without him but now idk if i dont have another baby how do i cope with the lose i feel i honestly feel like my baby died and how do i go about getting passed the sadness i feel when i look at my hubby playing with our kids and know we will never have another baby to do this do i deal with the feeling of back stabbing hate and anger i feel when i see him ....i just feel lost and confused angry and sad completely out of control of my own desires what am i to do
overlyemily overlyemily
2 Responses Feb 5, 2012

I totally understand how you are feeling. You mention a broken heart and that is exactly how I feel! A part of me is taken away-my situation is a little different where we both have 2 kids from previous marriages. I want one together and he is not up for it. I am 34 and he is 48 and our kids are 15,14,11 and 10. He is young at heart and I think this would be great for our family. My heart is broken and I feel your pain with the missing piece!

Have you honestly talked to him about this & told him how you feel? does he have a valid reasons why he doesn't want more kids? just saying no is not a reason, you need to find out why. their is more than one way to have children in you life to love. volunteer in the nursery at church, offer to babysit someones kids for them, you could be a foster parent.